For those of you who happened to actually READ the scriptures I talked about... I made a mistake. The ACTUAL scripture ion Matthew was chapter 24, not 23. It was a typo.
I'm sure some of you who read Matt.23 were actually thinking, "Huh? What's that David? What does hypocrisy have to do with the temple?"
So this morning I opened my Bible, and God told me "read Ezra 6:12"... at least that's what I thought He said. --
[You see... I haven't been very communicative with God lately. I mean, we talk a lot, and I suppose I meditate on Him and what he may be saying... but I haven't cracked my Bible since the last time I went to church... which was in Sept. I think]
Two weekends ago, Kirk, Jules, Wendy and I went up to 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica for dinner. At the very very end of that trip, while walking back to the car, we past a specific street performer (one of many on the street) that was playing jazz on his brass, and singing. I was pleasantly surprised at his skill, and commented on it more than once on the ride home.
Last friday, (7/1) I had my Pandora doing a quick mix of all my stations, and the Louis Armstrong station came on playing this song: Wrap Your Troubles In Dreams, by Preservation Hall H 4 with Duke Dejan
It's been awhile since I've really listened to Jazz. Not the new wave stuff from today, but good ol' classic jazz styles. This weekend I re-found my love for it, and my southern roots. The nights were extremely pleasant this weekend, I speant lots of time outdoors, and all I wanted was Jazz, Sweet Tea, and fried catfish.
Seriously, I just really miss the South. There's something specially "romantic" (in the non-love sort of way) about the South. It is calling to me at the moment.
Well, I got my Jazz anyway (I still need me some sweet tea). It's now top on my playlist... I imagine it will be there for awhile. Duke Dejan, Doc Cheatland, Louis Armstrong, Miles Davis, Deacon John Moore... I just love the sound.
Now... gotta find me some sweet tea.
Yesterday God reminded me that I need Him. Sometimes, He does this through wise words spoken from someone you trust. Sometimes, often He'll do this in the midst of a dramatic event in our lives.
Yesterday was like neither of these. Yesterday, He simply spoke to me. "You need me". That's what He said. And it rang true. As if He yelled it in a hollow canyon and it reverberated throughout the air all around me - yet silent like a whisper as if His lips were brushing my ear. "You need me."
I do.
It's true. I need Him, and yet, so often of late - no that's not accurate - for awhile now, I've been avoiding Him. Not so blatantly as to tell Him to go away. It was more like when you receive a Voicemail on your phone asking you to call someone back, and then you just never get to it.
I want to be a hero. I want to be honorable. I want to be shrewd, intelligent, knowledgeable, honest, wise, endearing, brave - Kingly. I want my legacy, my name, to carry weight. To have value. How many kings of Israel were compared to King David in the Bible? I want my name to be like that - "but he did not Honor God like David did."
I want to be an example.
Yesterday God spoke to me, and I heard Him. When He knew I heard Him, He then, like a gentle, wise counselor, convicted me.
You see, I had a idea which I shared with you yesterday. It's a nice idea. A Great Idea. And then God slid a book across the table. No words were spoken. Just the passing of a book, with a soft, compassionate, yet saddened smile. The title of the book was "David Wilson's Great Ideas". When I opened the book, the pages contained my best ideas... all these ideas that would certainly make a difference, earn me a reputation such as the one I described above, and would glorify God at the same time. Real work, doing great things for The Kingdom. Along those pages also were included all the encouraging comments and praises I've received for those ideas. And, at the end of each idea was a section with a single square box, and the word "Completed" in gray.
As I flipped through the pages, I noticed one glaring thing: None of the square boxes were checked.
I knew. When he gave me the book, I didn't even need to look in it. I knew at once what He was telling me, but I looked anyway.
God told me two things yesterday, in 2 totally different ways. I was convicted.
But He wasn't done.
I've told anyone who's ever been interested (on perhaps not interested) that my ultimate goal is to be a philanthropist. I've always wanted to make a ton of money so I could give it away. You know, REALLY make a difference.
The funny thing is, I've also told many people that I think it's too easy to simply give money. It's such a "rich-man's", "Newport Beach" style of good will. It's detached. It's a quick high, but short. Like going to church on Sunday's, just to tell yourself you've gone, but not taking anything with you from the experience into your week. Unless you've ever gotten your hands dirty, you can never really connect with the cause you're supporting, because you haven't connected with the people being helped. Once you go - once you've seen it with your own eyes, and been a part of God's movement; only then do you really understand. Only then do you actually receive the full gift of which God intends to bless you.
I've never noticed how contradictory my goals and my opinions were, until yesterday. He began to speak, and I sat and listened. It was like putting contacts in your eyes to reveal the things your conscious mind can't see clearly, but your subconscious knows the truth of. Perhaps, my philanthropy is not made of the money I will give, but rather the time I'll invest. It's just as valuable (perhaps more so), and the return is far greater.
He then handed me a magazine; this one a copy of Costco's business magazine, and turned it to a spread about TOMS shoes, an article which I've read before (read it here). He pointed out the differences between Blake Mycoski (TOMS founder) and myself. I'm like the kid that gets back from church camp all fired up, but then gets lost in daily life and loses the fire I started with. Or like the person that makes the New Years Resolution to exercise, and start off with fervor. But then after the first 2 weeks, when the real pain starts to set in, they stop going to gym.
He reminded me that the truly successful entrepreneurs/leaders are the ones who don't fail once the initial wave of excitement and passion wane. They're the ones who, when they find inspiration, focus on the goal and simply push toward it. They don't let the monotony of daily life, or the hurdles along the way distract them. Like a football team that simply focuses on 3 yards every play instead of relying on a single hail-mary to score a touchdown.
I was convicted.
"You need Me." I do need Him. And for this, I really need Him. Because, this isn't about my legacy. This isn't about my name. This isn't about my Glory. It's about His.
The qualities I mentioned before sound good, but I've got it all wrong. A King, a great King, isn't self-serving. There's a quality I didn't mention before, that is necessary for the others to be genuine. Humility. It's directly juxtaposed to the idea of reaching for the other qualities.
I need God. I need Him for ME. And I need for my "great" ideas. You can't have ideas that glorify God, if you don't include Him in them. I can't stay focused on my "plans", without Him, because the "purpose" is absent.
I'm sorry God. I'm sorry for ignoring you lately. I'm also sorry for trying to steal your thunder... because my "great ideas" aren't MINE at all.
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As I write this post, it isn't at all ending the way I intended when I started. It WAS originally entitled "ConvictION", not "ConvictED". I had intended to end with a new conviction to follow through, and accomplish these "great ideas". While, that idea remains, I realized as I wrote that there was something deeper going on, and God was still talking. I wrote what I was being told, and the "final" (I say that loosely) message is different that what I had thought. I'm not sure that He's done either. I'll keep you posted (pun TOTALLY intended ;-P ).
Any of you who read my blog consistently (when I actually write), know I mostly only write about 3 things - Music, God's work in my life, and charity work.
This Post is no different.
Sunday, I went out with Jerry Goodall (Wendy's boss) and Kirk, and we went and saw a movie (The Eagle), and then sat drinking coffee at Starbucks. Later, we went back to the Goodall's house to meet up with Wendy, Julie and Anita.
I can't remember know how the topic came up, but very briefly we spoke on the following topic, and I had what I consider a 'brilliant' idea. It was a short conversation, but it's caused me to envision huge things.
When Wendy and I were in Armenia with Armenian Gospel Mission (AGM), one of the things we did was give shoes to the kids at the Schools run by AGM (called ARDA in Armenia). It certainly was one of the most memorable experiences there. Most of these kids have never owned a new pair of shoes. Quite honestly, many of them wear shoes way too small, way too big, or wear slippers because they don't own any shoes that fit (and slippers don't hurt so much if your feet are 3 sizes too large for them). It's stunning really. Such a small thing we take for granted. Shoes. 
When we gave these kids their shoes (new shoes, nice, and fit them to their feet), the excitement, chaos, and emotions were the sweetest dessert I've ever tasted. 
Many of the kids just wanted to carry the shoes in their box like a treasure. We had mothers come in after picking up their child(ren) with tears in their eyes, so grateful for the gift. 
There were about 7 kids we encountered whose feet were too large for any of the shoes we had with us. One of the 7 was so worried he wouldn't get a pair, he crammed his feet into one pair insisting that they fit just fine, while the tops of his feet bulged out of the shoes. Even when we told him not to worry, that we'd get him a pair just for his size, he still wouldn't give them up.
The crazy thing about Armenia, is that for the most part, everything there is very inexpensive. Food especially. That's a good thing, though relative to living, since many of these families make about $50-$80 a month. However, when we went to buy shoes for the 7 kids that didn't get any (well, 6 plus the one kid who took the small shoes), we found that, on average, kids shoes cost $40, and that's even for the low quality tennis shoes! That's basically a full months salary! (Don't worry. We still got the 7 pairs :-) )
The problem with kids shoes is that they hardly wear them. Sure, I have shoes that are so worn, that the soles are sloped, have a hole through the sole at the heel, and threads are coming apart. But kids grow out of their shoes so quickly that they often are in perfect shape, but are now sized incorrectly.
It was cool to give the shoes away. It would be even cooler to keep giving them away. But what would be the coolest?
What if we took the idea further, and setup a "Shoe Bank" in Armenia run by ARDA (or in other poverty stricken areas run by charities). Families could buy a pair of shoes, or be gifted a pair to begin with. Then, as their child grew, they could bring the shoes to the Shoe Bank. The shoes would be inspected on the spot, and a replacement pair of the correct size would be given back to the family relative to the quality of the shoes brought in.
Eventually, the family will get less and less quality shoes as they wear out the pairs they have, and then get similarly worn shoes in return. At some point, they'd have to "reinvest" in a pair of shoes. In the meantime, they won't have to struggle with the fact that their child is growing too rapidly.
There would never be a requirement to bring back the shoes they were given. After all, the original investment (or gift) was theirs to begin with. This simply allows a single investment to "grow" with the child.
Anyway, that's what's on my mind today.
A follow-up of yesterday, I still HIGHLY suggest you head to their site and check them out since you can listen to all their albums in full...
but to make it easier to hear a taste of them, I was able to find 3 songs to add to my "Music of the Moment" playlist to the right ---->
And because I really care about you guys, I even moved the 3 songs to the top of the playlist. I know, I know... I'm such a doll, right?
So, in true "metro" fashion, I am a lover of singing... specifically I love to sing, as well as listening to others. Especially when it's great acapella!
Last night, Wendy and I watched the newest season of "The Sing-Off" on NBC. I love this show, especially this year. Last season was OK, but this season has some real talent. There were a couple of major standouts, but all in all I got excited about all of the groups.
Today, while listening to Pandora Radio and working (Ingrid Michaelson station, FYI), this group came on, and I was pleasantly surprised to be listening to a VERY good acapella group. I immediately went to YouTube to listen to more, and then followed up on their site. I was extremely pleased to find that I could listen to all their songs from all their albums in full on their site. Super cool!
If you like acapella, I suggest checking them out. They currently are promoting their Christmas album, and it's also very interesting.
For your viewing pleasure!
Due to a "sorta-request" by my buddy Nathan Duke (also featured in the video... the nerd), I have uploaded a video of our Syncronized Swimming performance from back in H.S. Now, this video will live on in all it's glory on YouTube... forever!
I have a new "pet-peeve"... except it's not really a pet-peeve. Really it just grosses me out.
What I'm referring to is, Bathrooms that smell like delicious food.
It's gross. I mean... the thought of it is gross. The men's bathroom in the office building I work in often smells like good food during lunch. It's like someone brings their lunch into the restroom - to prepare it??
It's not even the act of food being in the restroom (which, incidentally, I've never actually seen). Instead, it's the idea of going in to use the toilet, being hungry, and then having my appetite worked-up while using the toilet.
I'm sorry, but something about this disturbs me. I shouldn't be getting hungry while sitting on the pot. It's just wrong on so many levels!
Just a quick word to say that today, at 11:30 our time (8:30pm in Cape Town), I would have been sitting in a Stadium watching the France-Uruguay game, had it not bee stinking impossible to find reasonable accommodations in South Africa.
Yup, I'm just saying. You would have been very, very jealous!
Oh, and we also had (have) tickets to 3 other games:
Uruguay vs. France in Cape Town on June 11th
Italy vs. Paraguay in Cape Town on June 14th
Spain vs. Switzerland in Durban on June 16th
Brazil vs. Ivory Coast in Joho on June 21st
Wendy and I just got back from Armenia on Sunday. I have a lot to say about it, but I've been finding it hard to blog lately. A few reasons exist for this:
1) Blogging is actually work. At least I think so. And when I get home and actually have time to blog, I really don't feel like doing so.
2) Any of you who blog know of the curse of blogging - you know, the fact that you blog about something, and since you've taken the time to blog it (see #1 above), you want people to read it. So, when you meet up with friends who haven't yet read said blog post, you don't want to talk about the topic you've blogged about, because.. well, you've put time into blogging it (see #1 above). So you avoid the conversation about the topic you've blogged about so you don't spoil your blog... which leaves you with very little important to actually talk about, because - naturally - the very fact that you've blogged it, makes it one of the important topics currently in your life (due to #1 above).
Thus, real-life conversations seem to suffer, and really, I already don't have much of importance to say in real-life without trying to make that more difficult by first blogging about it.
None of this is an issue of course, if the person has already read the blog - but then, let's face it, you're conversation is now just really a re-hash of what they already know.
Note: I've spent the last 10min. sitting here trying to think of a clever phrase or word to "coin" that represents this delima, this phenomenon, but have been unable to come up with anything really good. The best I got is "bloggerdox" (a cross between paradox and blogger). I'm taking votes and suggestions though, so chime in at any time.
3) There was a third really good reason for not blogging, which I had all lined up... but my rant about #2 caused me to forget #3. So just pretend you know what it is, and that it is really valid, and full of deeply considered reasoning.
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I will blog about Armenia, I promise, and I'll even include pictures. Mostly though, I'm only going to do it because it will provide me with a way to not forget the impact and details of one of the most incredible, amazing, touching trip experiences of my life.
I just HAD to blog tonight.
So, Wendy and I just arrived in Wilmington, N.C. My cousin and his family live here, and we're staying with them for a few days. Then we'll head up to Winston-Salem to visit my Grandmother, aunt, and other cousins. We rolled up at about 8pm, and had dinner and talked. It was fun.
Currently, it's 11:50pm. At about 10:40 tonight, we said our good nights, and retired to our room.
It's a beautiful master suite, huge walk-in closet, big bath, large room and bed, and Allison has done such a great job making it feel welcoming. She even prepared a basket of toiletries in case we had forgotten some of our own! We spent the next 10min getting ready for bed, but seeing as how it is only 7:50 our time in Cali, it was still just a bit too early to actually sleep. No big deal, I have my laptop.
I plugged it in and set in on the bed. I then climbed into bed, and sitting upright with my legs stretched out in front of me, proceeded to arrange the blankets...
and then the bed fell apart. Well... that's not exactly right. The bed didn't exactly "fall apart" - Rather... it broke. With a
VERY
LOUD
CRASH.
Seriously? Seriously?@! What the heck! I mean, this is the first trip I've ever made to see my extended family without the rest of my immediate family, and the first thing I manage to do is break their bed? What kind of lousy luck it that?!
My first thougt was to fix it. But in order to do that, I had to take off the comforter, mattress, box spring, and move the side table. Additionally, or perhaps far more importantly, the only "tool" handy was a plastic toy screwdriver.
The side rails have metal plates in them on the ends that hook into the headboard and footboard. The plate connecting to the headboard on the side I was sitting on ripped out of its sideboard!
Turns out, it's actually broken, so there's no way for me to fix it... certainly not without real tools. By this point it's 11:15 or so, and I don't want to disturb our hosts, so Wendy and I decide to just give up and rearrange the room so we can "make" ourselves a bed.
What once was a beautiful room, quickly turned into chaos.
At this present time, We've completely disassembled the bed, and I'm laying on the mattress which is in the middle of the floor. Our hosts still have no idea any of this has taken place.
I gotta admit though, I'm actually kinda excited to see their faces when they come in tomorrow to get us. :-)
and of course, for your viewing pleasure:
It's only too bad I don't have full "before during and after" pics.
I'm not a big "car" guy. Heck, I'm not a big "sports" guy... or most things "guy-like".
That said, I do have opinions about those guy-things, and every once in awhile i get decidedly "guy-ish".
Well, I read this article: 6 Cars So Alluring They're in an Art Museum
It made me think of my all-time favorite, sexy car. That's first car in the article: 1938 Alfa Romeo 8C2900B Touring Berlinetta , is pretty sexy. But no where near as sexy as my favorite car.
Say hello to the most beautiful car every made: The Auburn Boattail cir. 1936
You'll wanna click those images to see em' up close.
Ever since I was 15, I've loved this car... I mean LOVED this car. I rarely get so excited about a vehicle... but this one is SOOOOoooo sexy. If I ever had the time and money to restore a car, THIS would be it.
It is simply beautiful. It just screams power, and refinement - and it oozes sex-appeal.
I didn't bother to see if it was one of the 18 cars that made it into the museum. If not, it should be. It's true "car-art" at its finest!
What about you? What do you think of the Auburn? Would you pick something different?
So last night, we watched American Idol. This "Lady gaga" wannabe Ke$ha came on the show and performed. Can I just say, "Horrid"?
Anyway, it made me wonder something:
For those of you who may or may not know... I used to be an actor. I did a commercial or two, but I'm most "famous" for my award-winning work in a music video... for a female pop-star from Switzerland/Germany named Kisha.
I was confused, and had to make sure this lame "Ke$ha" wasn't the same as my Kisha. It isn't... but at any rate, made me track down this little goodie for all of your enjoyment!
Behold! Me, in all my 17yr. old glory! (Oh the days when I had no chest hair! :-P ) I'm easy to pick out (I'm one of the surfer dude's, and am the "most seen guy" in the video)... however, some/most of you may know two of the other guys in the video... can you pick them out?
Jury Reaches Guilty Verdict in Murder of Abortion Doctor
I'm torn by this article. The question is this: "Is it wrong to murder a murderer?"
Some would say the "murderer" in this scenario (an Abortion Doctor) isn't a murderer... but if you believe the Dr. is committing murder, is it then murder or simply killing to take their life?
That's a hard question to answer. We have a fundamental obligation to protect those that can't protect themselves. The case linked above is interesting, because the Judge wanted the case to not be about abortion... which is precisely what it is about.
We have Murder charges... but we also have man-slaughter charges too... specifically for the purpose of punishing "poor" decisions, vs. "evil" decisions (at least, that's how I see it).
So, in this case, isn't that exactly the point?
If you believe Mr. Roeder at all (regardless of your view on Abortion rights), then according to his motives... isn't it technically a "poor" decision? His motives were, after all, to protect those he believed were defenseless. That's not exactly "evil" is it?
I think about Osama Bin Laden. I've thought about killing him multiple times. I've premeditated it for years. For me, the thing that holds me back is my inability to accomplish the task... but that doesn't mean I haven't thought about it for years - and given the opportunity to kill him, I'd do it. So, is premeditation the standard by which we judge murder? If so, then if I ever see Osama Bin Laden, I guess I'm going to jail forever.
The Dr. was doing something within the law... there's no argument there. but does that absolve someone from their responsibility to protect others? (even if that responsibility is only perceived?)
I'm torn by this case.
So, not only was my 30th a super amazing evening, but the gifts I got were totally awesome, and totally ME!
Anyway, one "type" of gift I got was iTunes gift cards, and I got a bunch! That's really good news, because I've had a bunch of albums lined-up that I've wanted to purchase, and now I had the chance to do so.
I still have more credit left to buy another album or two, but here's what I've gotten so far (note: these are all full albums):
Church Music - David Crowder Band
A Collision (I already own B Collision) - David Crowder Band
Can You Hear Us? - David Crowder Band
Closer (EP) - Jars of Clay
Never Going Back to OK - The Afters
33 Miles - 33Miles
One Life - 33Miles
Pages Special Edition - Shane Barnard & Shane Everett (aka Shane & Shane)
Kingdom of Comfort - Delirious?
Wake Me - Tal & Acacia
What to Do With Daylight - Brooke Fraser
Albertine - Brooke Fraser
A Good Day - Priscilla Ahn
The Hotel Cafe Presents Winter Songs - Various Artists (in the same vein of, and including, Priscilla Ahn, Regina Spektor, Ingrid Michaelson)It's been a long time... a very long time since I've had an evening of lengthy, intimate worship with God.
I'm not simply talking about a church service of worship, where the # of choruses are pre-planned, and God isn't given any room to move, except within the confines of the "planned evening".
What I'm talking about is the deep, meaningful, intimate worship that comes with people gathering together to sing songs and let God join them and move them the direction He wants.
Most of you who read my blog are familiar with the "First Sunday Night of the Month Worship Service" that used to occur at Emmanuel EV Free Church in Burbank. I miss that.
During my one year at APU, Nathan Duke and myself started to meet at the firepit near the small chapel outside our dorm, and play music. By the end of the year, it grew into a weekly Tues. Night event with multiple musicians, and that over 70 people (on avg.) would attend. We'd just play what we felt, or someone would mention a song and we'd play that until we were lead to another song. If we didn't know the song, we'd pass along our instruments to others that did know it. It was awesome, and I still look back at that with thankfulness that I was able to be an intrigal part of that event.
I want that again. I miss that type of communion with God.
I want to plan an evening next month (or maybe the first weekend of March) to get together with others and just praise God for who He is. Not just another venue to have a church service with someone to preach to me. No, I simply want a time to glorify God with music.
I'm still figuring this all out, but I know what I'm after, and I'm willing to make sure it happens. My hope is that friends tell friends who tell more friends, until it's a group of people I both know and don't know, but who are interested in spending an evening together glorifying God.
My idea is one similar to that which we started at APU: People show up with their voices... and with instruments if they have them. This isn't a "i'll stand on stage and lead you" type of thing. This is a "we get in a group and everyone has something to offer" type of thing.
Have a guitar? Bring it. Have more than one? Bring em all so others can play too. Bongos? Sure. Egg Shakers? You bet. Just your voice? Perfect. A heart focused on Christ? An absolute must.
I miss it. I miss it a lot. Don't you?
1) I'm the only proclaimed Christian in my office. Today, my co-worker, Beyhan, approached me and she asked me a "religious" question - one which I believe I answered honestly, but also told her that I wanted to look into it further to make sure I didn't give an answer from ignorance. It was a great question:
"What does the Bible say are OK and "proper" reasons that a person should get married?
This was followed with, "Does the Bible say it is OK to not get married?"
Now the second one I answered easily... yes, it is OK to not get married. Paul even encourages it if possible in Corinthians.
But the first was interesting. It's not, "What does the Bible say about marriage?" but rather, about the reasons that good and appropriate to choose to get married.
My answer? As far as I know, the Bible doesn't say anything about what should be a persons reasons behind getting married, but instead simply talks at length about the marriage bond itself (and given those rules, one can deduce if their choice for marriage will be honoring in the long-term). I said I'd come back to her though. Anyone with any additional thoughts?
2) I read 3 articles today about the Massachusetts Senate race. Not one contributed the Democrat loss to policy decisions. Instead, they only blamed Democrats for falling asleep at the wheel during the campaign. Additionally, they all still found a way to through in a "Bush's fault" in their articles. These were from NY Times, ABC News, and Washington Post. Pathetic.
3) Following my #2 above, I'm really pissed that somehow "Health-care Reform" has become synonymous with "Public Health-care". Why can't we simply fix the problems of our system, without destroying the private industry? Furthermore, why doesn't someone point this out VERY VERY LOUDLY?
Senator John D. Rockefeller IV, Democrat of West Virginia, said he was skeptical of suggestions to scale back health care legislation and pass some incremental changes as part of a stripped-down bill.
“That’s probably not so wise,” Mr. Rockefeller said. “That could become another long process.”
One idea is to pass a bill that focuses on tough federal regulation of health insurance markets. But Mr. Rockefeller asked, “Does that cover 35 million Americans?”
Singing... because otherwise I'd be cursing! I was at lunch, across the street from my office. Sitting in the Coffee bean & Tea Leaf shop as my lunch nears its end, suddenly the skies open up and simply becomes water. I'm not sure you can call it rain when it is so thick. Instead it's simply "sky ocean".
Anyway, so I waited to go back across the street because I had my laptop with me, and frankly I didn't want to be soaked. While sitting in the coffee shop, I watched quite a few people pull out their umbrellas and attempt to traverse the sky ocean. The problem? The wind was so strong that the rain was literally traveling side-ways. There were about 10 of us that stayed in the shop watching these people and laughing. Umbrellas? They might as well have used fishnets for all the help they were.
So finally, it lightens up to the point where you might venture outside, but certainly wouldn't want to not have an umbrella. I figured it was my chance! I packed up, threw on my raincoat hood, put my laptop bag inside my coat, and went outside.
I'm standing anxiously at the stoplight (because I just missed my turn), waiting for the chance to walk across, with my head down, and my hood on. While standing there, I was taking into account the 4-ft wide "river" in front of me, and was contemplating exactly where was thinnest so I could jump across when the light changed. Still with my head down, the roar of the approaching traffic gets louder, and I check to make sure my laptop bag is not being exposed to the wet underneath my coat. I never bother to look up and down the street to watch the traffic. Head still down, I decide that, wanting to stand in the rain for as short a period as possible, I should prepare myself for my turn to go, and since the river was very thick, taking up most of the lane nearest me, and my laptop bag was heavy, I should be as far forward on the curb as possible so that I could more easily jump the water.
Have I painted a good enough picture for you here? Yup... it was straight out of a movie.
A very large white raised GMC truck goes flying by in the lane closest to me... the very same lane that currently was acting as the bed for a 4-ft wide river. I never did look up. The first I noticed the wave was as it obscured my view of my legs.
I looked up in shock, and over to the cars that were also waiting for the light to change. I saw a grin on every face.
Staring at them I took a step backward, only to be hit again as a second truck (goldish-tan this time I think) threw a wave at me. Now my audience wasn't just grinning... they were laughing.
Sigh* At least somebody was enjoying the cold, wet rain. I guess that's Karma for laughing at those who tried to leave the coffee shop.
The pic below doesn't do it justice. My pants are still soaking wet. The dark parts of the pants are simply the "wettest" of the wet.
First off, sorry Carrie. I know you like pictures, but this topic really doesn't have any pictures to associate with. However, I don't want to leave you hanging, so I've added some gratuitous photos below.
Ok, so I've previously mentioned how I don't feel I contribute much to conversation any more. Sure, I talk - but much of what I say is of little interest, is word vomit (gossip, etc.), or is redundant.
Don't get me wrong, I do have intelligent conversation at times. It's just that most of the time I feel is wasted speech. I didn't use to feel this way. I use to feel like I was a healthy contibutor to conversation. Now, I feel like I don't have much input that people care for.
I feel like many of my friendships have become more shallow than in the past, and I largely feel like I'm to blame. Do I really only have old memories and stories to rehash over and over and over? Is that really the sum of my personality?
I'm not "totally down on myself" or anything. I know I'm a good person, and I can be fun to be around. However, reflecting on this past year, I don't feel like I've had much worth saying... and truthfully, often I simply sat in a group and said nothing. Comfortable silences have become uncomfortable.
My blog is called "The Long Winded" and it's often been a running joke that I am, indeed, Long-winded. This has never ever bothered me. I am long-winded. However, once again reflecting on the past year, I've noticed how much I tend to get interrupted. This used to bother me because I felt an injustice was being done. With it's frequency though, I've come to realize that it largely is not about those interrupting me, but rather because what I've had to say really does have little importance. Where being "long-winded" was once a joke to me, I've now begun to see it as a fault.
Truthfully, I'll always be long-winded. I inherited it from my mother. I tell so many details, most of which don't "really" matter to the story. That's in my nature... and it's not what I'm discussing here. What I'm talking about here is running my mouth... what Proverbs calls being a fool.
I feel like somewhere along the way, I lost sight of the important things in people's lives. What makes you interesting (and valuable) to others is in fact how invested you are in the other person - not how much you know (or believe you know), or how funny you are (or believe you are), or how cool your job or things are. I truly love my friends, but somewhere I stopped investing in them. At some point I began to be shallow.
As a result, what I have to say is less interesting.
This leads me to my personal self-improvement New Year's Resolution for 2010. Do I speak more, or do I speak less?
Certainly, when I say "speak more", I don't mean adding more lousy content. Rather I mean speak-up more, ask more questions, inquire into people's lives. This may not add more "David" to the conversation, but it may add more "value".
On the other hand, maybe I should take a vow of silence. Not in the "traditional" sense, but in the "don't speak unless it is important" sense. Maybe what I do say should be limited to words that have value - words that are wise, encouraging, and loving. Simply leave out the filler.
How important is "filler" anyway? The life of the party is often the loudest. They can also quickly get annoying, but they certainly are the life of the party for a little bit. Is there an importance to a certain amount of word vomit?
I'm still not sure which direction to go this year. Whatever the case, 2009 was a great year for me learning, but was a piss-poor year of me contributing. I hope to make 2010 much different.
