A Lesson From Esther and a request.

I read Esther today. I know the story already, but it's far more interesting to get the detail vs. the sunday school cliff notes version.

Anyway... a side story (don't worry, I'll bring it full circle).

I've been bummed lately. I like to think of myself as a fun, communicative person, but lately I've felt... mute. I don't have much to say. Or rather, I don't have much that I feel is worth saying. In other words (haaahaa I'm apparently not SPEECHLESS), anything I would say, I feel has no value.

This depresses me. See, I have a great life. I'm totally blessed. God's given me every desire of my heart. I have a good job. I have an amazing new home. I have great friends.

The problem is, I can tell people about my job, but it hasn't really "changed", so once they know I like it, and know what it is I do, there's not much more to say. I can talk to people about my house, but really, it seems kinda self-indulgent, especially when I can't really claim any "earning" of the home. It really was a gift from God. Besides, even if I had "earned" it, who wants to listen to bragging?... Especially in this economy.

SO I don't have much to say, unless I want to reminisce of the past. Who wants to live their whole lives in the past? I could gossip (which sadly is what I find happens most often) but this is only temporarily enjoyable, and damaging over the long term.

What I realized is, I have nothing to talk about, because I'm not doing anything of value. For some people "value" can mean something totally different... but I know that value really means doing something to further God's kingdom and glorify Him.

So, I've been dealing with this question for awhile... "What shall I do for you God?" (as I write this, I realize I've been searching for Him to inspire me, but I've yet to actually ask Him.) Hmmm...

That last sentence really caught me off guard. ...

Seriously, as I write this, I'm kinda struck, considering I had a really purpose for this blog post. ...

Wow. Ok. Well, let me bring this full circle, though I realize at this point that I have some praying to do.


I've been struggling with this issue. Well, Wendy and I went to the Armenian Gospel Mission (AGM) dinner, and I must say, they are a very impressive organization. Without getting too detailed, one of the many many special things they are accomplishing in Armenia is a new trade center they are building. In this building they will teach the men trades for free, such as construction. This will give them the ability to pursue jobs, and support their families.

I began to think of ways to use my computer skills with the ministry. I don't feel I'm quite qualified enough to teach (nor can I really ever take 2 weeks to go teach). However, I am very good at building computers, and I think it would be fun to provide them for the school.

Most people who get rid of their computers do so because they don't work (a single part has gone bad) or their computer is sluggish and the idea that it's "old" sets in. Since it's so easy and cheap to buy a brand new one, most people just go that route. Therefore, there's a lot of good computers (or computers with a single bad part) that just get thrown out.

I have an idea for tossed computers, to rebuild them and send them to ministries. It would be cool and free of charge, and something I can actually do which is a semi-unique skill.

The problem is, there's a ton of hurdles. However, the story of Esther (full circle people) is chock-full of her and Mordecai overcoming major hurdles. At one point Mordecai rebukes Esther because she's being resistant, and his comment is that God has elevated her and shown her favor with Xerxes... possibly for the very purpose of saving the Jews (Haman had gotten Xerxes to declare a specific day where everyone could freely slaughter the Jews).

Well, God's given me gifts, and in-spite of the hurdles (which really aren't as big as possibly losing my life) He's shown me favor and I'm possibly in the perfect position to fulfill this task.

One thing Esther request of Mordecai. Before she steps up to the task, she tells him to have the Jews fast for 3 days & nights, and she's going to do the same.

So I was going to ask you guys to fast with me for 24 hour period on next Thurs (Oct. 29th). The purpose would be to pray for God's direction for me, and then for favor in that plan. That He will ordain me for a special ministry, and he'll prepare a special plan for my skills.

I still plan to request this of you (so be prepared), but my hope is to have something a little more specific to pray for before you do this.