Continuing with Female Musicians

So, I'm continuing the topic because I've had some relative success finding some female artists that I actually enjoy.

While I had realized the style I enjoy listening to, as it relates to female artists; I still was struggling finding and Christian female artists.

I did some serious googling, and discovered two things:

1) Apparently Christians artists don't really understand what indie music is, and additionally don't understand genres in general.

2) In my searching, I managed to find two female artists/groups that I feel like I could listen to with any regularity. I'm kinda happy about this. Once again, as far as concerts are concerned, I feel like the venue would play a huge role. But for everyday listening, I'm pretty entertained by these women.

You can listen to a sampling of their music on their own sites (both have small music players in the upper right corner of their sites).

Without further ado:

Brooke Fraser (http://www.brookefraser.com/)

Brooke Fraser has an Ingrid Michaelson sound to her. (Ingrid is one of the indie artists I mentioned in the previous post). Brooke even traveled with the Hotel Cafe Tour (with Ingrid and Priscilla Ahn, etc.), so she's in good company. Additionally, she's written songs for Hillsong (she's a member of the church).



Tal and Acacia (http://talandacacia.com/)
Tal and Acacia have a small Regina Spektor element to them, both musically and vocally (though not quite as vocally annoying to me). Their first song you can hear (Garbage) is clever, but not really among my favs that I've hear thus far. If it isn't any good to you, try skipping it and going to the next song. I really enjoy Drifting Away, which is the second song on their playlist on their site, and Yahweh.

Finally, some Christian Females

Back to Female Singers

So, a bit ago I posted my opinions about female singers. I still hold that opinion, especially in regards to Christian female artists.

However, thanks to my good friend, Treats™ (Trademark 2009, Benjamin Rush Creations, Inc.), in association with Pandora Radio™, I have been introduced to Priscilla Ahn, and through her a slew of other very talented female artists:

A Fine Frenzy,
Ingrid Michaelson
Kate Walsh
Sara Bareilles
Jaymay
... and many more.

All of these have a very indie element to them, and I'm totally pleased with the findings. Granted, I'm not sure I'd pay good money to go see them in concert, unless said concert was in a coffee house with comfy couches and a relaxed atmosphere. Should one provide such a venue, I'd be there in a heart beat.

The Pandora Priscilla Ahn Radio station has become a staple of my "listening while you work" music lineup.

Thanks Treats™!!

H1N1 (Swine) Flu perspective

In a follow-up to our girl, MissFitz, I did a little googling.

Here's some perspective on the Hype around Swine Flu.

From the CDC's own website, with some personal Highlights:

"Seasonal influenza, commonly called "the flu," is caused by influenza viruses, which infect the respiratory tract (i.e., the nose, throat, lungs). Unlike many other viral respiratory infections, such as the common cold, the flu can cause severe illness and life-threatening complications in many people. The best way to prevent seasonal flu is by getting a seasonal flu vaccination each year. In the United States, on average 5% to 20% of the population gets the flu; more than 200,000 people are hospitalized from seasonal flu-related complications, and; about 36,000 people die from seasonal flu-related causes. Some people, such as older people, young children, pregnant women, and people with certain health conditions, are at high risk for serious flu complications.

Note: that above is simply estimates, however the estimates are based on pretty decent criteria (though technically not scientific).

Now, about H1N1, also from the CDC's website:

"About 22 million Americans have become ill with pandemic H1N1 influenza in the past six months and 3,900 have died, according to new estimates by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "

"The total number of people who have been hospitalized is 98,000, with 36,000 of them age 17 and younger. The vast majority of deaths -- about 2,920 -- have been in people age 18 to 64. "

"All of the estimates come with substantial uncertainty. For example, total H1N1 cases in the United States range from 14 million to 34 million, and total deaths from 2,500 to 6,100."

See that? This new flu isn't significantly more dangerous that the seasonal flu. What makes it nasty is that the seasonal flu is made up of multiple strains, versus H1N1 is a single strain accounting for so much damage. The "other" nastiness is that H1N1 affects more peeps our age in a deadly way than the seasonal version.

Still, in general, it appears your odds aren't any greater for coming down with/dying from H1N1 than the Seasonal flu.

So much for "hype". I'm with MissFitz... what's the "real" reason for the hype and vaccine push. Who's getting rich? What's the motivation? the Health Care plan? It all just seems a bit fishy to me.

What God has to say about my ministry

So, I know many of you are interested in what's occurred. I'll update you tomorrow(by editing this post)... I have a lot of work to finish at the moment.

Stay Tuned!

UPDATE: I'd write now, but I'm really not in the mood. Besides, the costumed Kiddies that come to my door are keeping me occupied... Super fun! I'll get around to this, I promise!

Follow-up to the Lesson from Esther

A huge 'Thank you' to those of you who responded that are willing to fast on my behalf.

Here's the update:

Yes, I'm still planning to fast tomorrow.

As for prayer, here's the deal... In the past week, I did pray that God would give me some direction for where I should be focusing my energy for His Kingdom. Unfortunately, I didn't pray as much as I had intended to.

Anyway, I'm still unsure where God wants to use me. There's two ideas, and lots of confusion.

First, I have had renewed excitement about the business plan to support charities through my companies E-Commerce program, though as much as that's a kind of "ministry"; it is also "for profit". Somehow I feel like this "breaks the rules" for working for Gods glory. It feels like it isn't "selfless", and additionally, because it will also be my actual 8-5 weekday job, it doesn't feel like a "sacrifice" (Of course, I don't know how that would change the dynamic in my office, and the extra workload my actually BE a sacrifice... but I digress). Still, I decided to pour more energy into finishing the business plan, and re-introduced the issue with my boss. I made some updates to the business plan draft I had already made, and plan to give it to him again so we can go over it.

Secondly, I have this idea for rebuilding computers for other ministries. As I've previously stated, there's so many people that just dump their computers because "they are getting slow", or may have died. The truth is, there's still tons of value in those computers, and I'd love to rebuild them for charities (such as the Armenian Gospel Mission). I was talking with my boss and co-worker the other day over lunch about this idea. I was telling them that I've been looking for something "of value" to do... something where I can use my unique skills to "give back" to others, and honor God (neither of them believe in God, but they seemed to connect with wanting to "give back", and do something that "has value"). Anyway, both seemed to really like my idea for the computer rebuilding... but then again, they're both techies, so that isn't very surprising that they'd identify with the idea. Still, we had some very good discussions on the idea.

Anyway, those are my "current ideas", but truthfully, I don't feel like God is pointing to either one. I have doubts. I don't want to move on my own and ignore what God is telling me to do. The "right idea" at the "wrong time" is the wrong thing to do. I really want to hear God on this, and I don't want to allow Satan to send me down a path that "seems good", but is taking me away from the blessing and direction God intends. On the other hand, I also don't want to allow Satan to use my doubts to cause complete inaction. So, I'm feeling like I'm at an impasse and am paralyzed.

Whatever I end up doing, even if it's not one of these things, I want to make sure that I'm prepared going into it all. Prepared to tackle the hurdles, survive and succeed in the battles Satan is sure to bring, and sensitive enough to the Holy Spirit's direction so that I won't miss opportunity milk the most joy and blessing out of serving God.

So, that's where I am at. Whatever you feel lead to pray, do so. I don't want to tell you what to pray, because I'm not sure I'm hearing God clearly anyway... and besides, I may not be asking the right questions.

Thanks so much!

My Letter to John and Ken

I listen to KFI AM640 every day. On monday night, John and Ken (who I like very much) were discussing a current man's agenda to seek a ban in California on divorce. The man is really out to show Prop 8 supporters are hypocrites (a 'Yes' on Prop 8 defined marriage as between man & woman, thus effectively banning gay marriage)

Anyway, John and Ken were discussing this, and John especially liked the man's "agenda", because John does believe Prop 8 supporters are wrong.

The hypocrite argument was this: If you supported Prop 8, then you must support this Divorce ban, because Prop 8 was about "protecting marriage", and what is more destructive of marriage than divorce? (John's hypothesis is that Prop 8 supporters won't vote for the divorce ban, and in that light will not be able to support their Prop 8 stance with any substantial argument) They opened the phones up, and sure enough they got some lady who played right into John's hypothesis.

Ken tried to play devil's advocate a bit, and at one point brought up that some would say that education was a part of Prop 8. (he didn't get detailed... simply brought up the subject) John immediately dismissed it as hogwash, claiming that they were unassociated, and were simply people's poor attempts at justifying their hypocrisy.

Now, I really like their show and usually agree with them, but obviously I differ in this area. As a result, I decided to write them an email with my "arguments".

For those of you who voted for Prop 8, you may have different opinions on the importance of my points, or even the validity of them, but these were the reasons I voted for Prop 8, and I believe I did a good job of proving that.

=================================================================

John and Ken,

I was listening to your argument regarding the ban on Divorce, and the link to Prop 8. The "real" issue seemed to be regarding the "hypocrasy" of Prop 8. in light of the divorce ban. While I don't personally believe in divorce, and therefore don't care one way or another is divorce is made illegal, I totally disagree with the view that allowing Divorce to remain legal somehow makes the Prop 8 argument illegitamate.

John, you wanted to focus so strongly on the fact that prop 8 was about protecting marriage. I will argue that Prop 8 was more about protecting the "sanctity" of marriage, and it was an extremely small part of the overall Prop 8 battle.

Still, I won't try to avoid this "hypocrisy" claim. So let's tackle it head on:

Claim: Someone elses gay marriage impacts my marriage, therefore someone elses divorce also impacts my marriage
Your divorce does not in any manner affect my personal marriage. Not on a moral level, a societal level, or legal level. There is zero impact to my marriage. The "lack" of your marriage does not make the existance of my marriage a sham. My marriage can remain consecrated and holy, in spite of your "sin".

The same is not true if someone else has a gay marriage. The mere existance of their "marriage", now changes the make-up of my marriage. Where marriage is defined as between a man and woman, it represents a unique, holy, consecrated bond between a man and woman, defined by a moral standard. If marriage is allowed for gay couples, it's entire foundation is altered. The moral foundation, and holiness is completely altered. Is it a "moral" question, as opposed to a physical one? Absolutely. Does everyone who gets married maintain the belief in the holiness of the bond it creates? No. It could be argued that there's no way to really know someone's belief in the meaning and implications of the marriage bond. However, actually allowing for marriage to include something considered morally reprehensible would be a direct act of removing value from the specialness of the unique bond of marriage.

My Personal Views on this argument: While I identify with the argument, I frankly don't really care. This point had very little to do with my decision to vote for Prop 8. Because I wasn't really about "Protecting the sanctity of marriage", the idea that I'm a hypocrite because I won't also vote to ban divorce is a complete an utter lie.


So, then, what's the real reason(s) for Prop 8.?

John, again I heard you argue that people want to "tack on" other issue to Prop 8 (like education) to validate their otherwise "empty" arguments in support of Prop 8. You stance that those "tacked on" arguments have nothing to do with Prop 8 is completely wrong. They have everything to with Prop 8. Here's Why.

Claim: Because of the "gay agenda", Gay Marriage carries an impact in regards to the education system.

Truth: There is a homosexual agenda to educate California students that homosexuality is not wrong, a fully acceptable lifestyle, and is perfectly normal. Furthermore, homosexuality is to even be honored. (SB 572 - Harvey Milk day).

This is a threat to people who don't want their children to be taught that homosexuality is not wrong and "normal". We have the right to raise our children with the moral standards we believe in. We have the right to protect our children from that which we feel is immoral or sinful. While we don't expect the schools to teach that homosexuality is wrong and sinful; neither do we allow for them to teach that it's OK. In other words, we believe it isn't the schools responsibility, place, or right to teach our children about this moral issue at all. We don't believe that "giving both sides" as an "unbiased alternative" is appropriate either, because given that it is a moral issue, it is by definition a biased issue. It is either right or wrong. It is our responsibility as parents to teach our children accordingly.

When we send our children to school, we tell them to respect their elders, to listen to them, and learn from them. In other words, Learn from you TEACHERS. It is a conflict of interest for the schools to the abuse this role to indoctrinate our children with their own moral values. It is confusing to young children to say, "Listen to your teachers, for they are right... well, except here, here, and here." Especially, when those same teachers then tell our children, "Don't listen to you parents, because they are wrong, because homosexuality is actually 'OK'."

So, what does Prop 8 have to do with the Education system?
It's been a slow and steady loss in the legal system for those against teaching children about homosexuality. Legal battles are constantly being fought on both sides, and the homosexual agenda has been slowly gaining ground. The fear is that if the State recognizes homosexual marriage as a valid lifestyle, the legal arguments for protecting our children in schools against being taught that homosexuality is "OK", will lose significant credibility because the State itself will acknowledge homosexual marriage as a valid and legal form of living. In other words, homosexual marriage does in fact affect our children's education.

My Personal Views on this argument: I agree with the fears. I don't want my children told that homosexuality is not wrong, by the same people I've just told my children to listen to. At some point in their young adult life, they will be able to discern for themselves the truth in what they're being taught from the people they've been told to trust. Until that time comes (and it's different for every child), I don't want my child to be taught that I'm lying to them.

I don't have a problem with homosexuals. I don't believe their lifestyle choice is moral, but that doesn't affect me. I'm not intolerant of homosexuality. Tolerance is "a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one's own." I won't stop someone from being homosexual, therefore I'm being permissive. I don't agree with them, but I won't stand in their way as they are allowed to live by their own moral standards, thus I'm fair. However, I don't accept their point of view as correct. One of us is wrong as they are opposing and mutually exclusive beliefs, and I say it is them. Therefore, I do object to my children being taught something I don't agree with.

Anyway, this argument isn't my main reason for voting for Prop 8, though it is a part of it.


Claim: Gay Marriage jeopardizes our churches

If I run a business, I am prohibited from refusing service simply because of your race, gender, or sexual orientation... even if it goes against my religious beliefs... even if I go out of my way to assist you in getting the service you need elsewhere.

In 2001 a Christian gynecologist at the North Coast Women’s Care Medical Group in Vista, California, was sued by a lesbian for refusing to provide in vitro fertilization treatment due to his religious convictions. Dr. Christine Brody has religious objections to pregnancy and childbirth outside of marriage, but a fellow physician referred Benitez to an outside specialist and the clinic agreed to pay any cost involved in the fact that the specialist was not covered by the lesbian’s health insurance (“Another Type of Conscientious Objector,” American Civil Rights Union Blog, April 30, 2007). In spite of that and in spite of the fact that she became pregnant and bore a healthy son, Guadalupe Benitez sued. In May 2008 the California Supreme Court heard oral arguments on the case. “Legal experts believe that the woman’s right to medical treatment will trump the doctor’s religious beliefs. One justice suggested that the doctors take up a different line of business” (“When Gay Rights and Religious Liberties Clash,” National Public Radio, June 13, 2008).

In the same way, churches are in danger if homosexual marriage is allowed. Churches, by nature, are founded around moral principles. As a result, they need to be able to maintain the integrity of those principles.

So, what does Prop 8 have to do with Churches?
Churches take money for marriage ceremonies. Usually it is a small amount for the use of the space and to cover the costs of custodial/managerial charges associated with having church personnel present. If gay marriage is in fact allowed, churches won't be allowed to legally refuse to hold a gay marriage ceremony at their location simply because it is "homosexual"... even if the marriage goes against the churches principles.

Notice that the Prop 8 group didn't seek to ban gay marriage... instead the simply defined marriage as between man & woman. This has many ramifications, but in this case it has extreme importance in regards to churches allowing/not allowing marriage ceremonies. Since the term "marriage" represents a bond only between man & woman, then the church can continue to hold "marriage" ceremonies and deny the homosexual ceremonies, without fear of being sued.

Think I'm going too far? Don't think the lawsuit would happen? It already has...

In 2007, after a Methodist organization in New Jersey refused to rent its facility to a lesbian couple for their civil union ceremony, a complaint was filed with the state Division of Civil Rights. It ruled against the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association, saying that since the property was open for public use, it could not discriminate against homosexuals. The state revoked their tax exemption for the property. Pastor Scott Hoffman, administrator for the Association, says they refused to rent the facility because of the theological principle that marriage is between a man and a woman. They are appealing to the state court system. The complaint came soon after New Jersey legalized same sex civil unions.

My Personal Views on this argument: This one scares me the most. People like the idea of attacking anything that maintains the view that they are sinning. They don't like to "feel guilty" for their actions... even if they aren't told they're sinning, if they know you "think" they are it can cause indignation and anger. As a result, there are many who will go looking for a way to attack the church, or religious principles. As you can see, it already has happened.

In April 2008 the New Mexico Human Rights Commission fined a Christian photography studio $6,600 for discriminating against homosexuals. Elaine Huguenin and her husband Jon, co-owners of Elane Photography in Albuquerque, politely refused to photograph a lesbian couple’s “commitment ceremony.” One of the lesbians, Vanessa Willock, filed a complaint with the New Mexico Human Rights Commission claiming the Huguenins discriminated against her because of her “sexual orientation.” Jordan Lorence, a lawyer with the Alliance Defense Fund that is representing the Huguenins, said: “This decision is a stunning disregard for religious liberty and First Amendment freedoms of people of faith, of Christians, and those who believe in traditional marriage defined as one man and one woman. This shows the very disconcerting, authoritarian face of the homosexual activists, who are using these non-discrimination laws as weapons against Christians in the business world and Christians in their churches” (“New Mexico Commission Orders Fine,” OneNewsNow, April 11, 2008). Lorence believes the Huguenins will win an appeal of the decision, but he warns this is how similar laws in 19 other states, and the proposed federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act, can be misused to silence biblical beliefs.

Intolerance has swung the complete other way. It remains ok to "believe" in certain morals, but it is not ok to "act" on your moral principles. In other words, you must live without principles or else you can be sued. I will fight to be able to go to church, maintain a job, and be successful, without needing to give up my moral principles.



See John, your claim that Prop 8 has nothing to do with the "tacked on" peripheral issues, is completely wrong. Prop 8 had direct impact on these other issues from a legal standpoint.

I've had friends ask, "well, why restrict gay marriage, rather than simply fighting for these other issues?" The issue (for me anyway) comes down to timing. We're already fighting for the schools, and yet still losing in the schools. Legal gay marriage would cripple those legal arguments. As a result, Prop 8 is about not losing any more ground. Since gay marriage became a more important issue so quickly, and resolution hasn't occurred with the school system, Prop 8 became far more necessary that it otherwise would be if the argument was simply and purely about marriage.

With regards to churches, once again it's about timing. Gay marriage came up and was ruled on so quickly, that the battle for churches legal safety couldn't even be fought before Prop 8 became necessary.

Are there other issues? I'm sure. But these are the reasons I voted for Prop 8. and thus why the Divorce ban is not comparable to Prop 8. They are simply not the same agenda.

A Lesson From Esther and a request.

I read Esther today. I know the story already, but it's far more interesting to get the detail vs. the sunday school cliff notes version.

Anyway... a side story (don't worry, I'll bring it full circle).

I've been bummed lately. I like to think of myself as a fun, communicative person, but lately I've felt... mute. I don't have much to say. Or rather, I don't have much that I feel is worth saying. In other words (haaahaa I'm apparently not SPEECHLESS), anything I would say, I feel has no value.

This depresses me. See, I have a great life. I'm totally blessed. God's given me every desire of my heart. I have a good job. I have an amazing new home. I have great friends.

The problem is, I can tell people about my job, but it hasn't really "changed", so once they know I like it, and know what it is I do, there's not much more to say. I can talk to people about my house, but really, it seems kinda self-indulgent, especially when I can't really claim any "earning" of the home. It really was a gift from God. Besides, even if I had "earned" it, who wants to listen to bragging?... Especially in this economy.

SO I don't have much to say, unless I want to reminisce of the past. Who wants to live their whole lives in the past? I could gossip (which sadly is what I find happens most often) but this is only temporarily enjoyable, and damaging over the long term.

What I realized is, I have nothing to talk about, because I'm not doing anything of value. For some people "value" can mean something totally different... but I know that value really means doing something to further God's kingdom and glorify Him.

So, I've been dealing with this question for awhile... "What shall I do for you God?" (as I write this, I realize I've been searching for Him to inspire me, but I've yet to actually ask Him.) Hmmm...

That last sentence really caught me off guard. ...

Seriously, as I write this, I'm kinda struck, considering I had a really purpose for this blog post. ...

Wow. Ok. Well, let me bring this full circle, though I realize at this point that I have some praying to do.


I've been struggling with this issue. Well, Wendy and I went to the Armenian Gospel Mission (AGM) dinner, and I must say, they are a very impressive organization. Without getting too detailed, one of the many many special things they are accomplishing in Armenia is a new trade center they are building. In this building they will teach the men trades for free, such as construction. This will give them the ability to pursue jobs, and support their families.

I began to think of ways to use my computer skills with the ministry. I don't feel I'm quite qualified enough to teach (nor can I really ever take 2 weeks to go teach). However, I am very good at building computers, and I think it would be fun to provide them for the school.

Most people who get rid of their computers do so because they don't work (a single part has gone bad) or their computer is sluggish and the idea that it's "old" sets in. Since it's so easy and cheap to buy a brand new one, most people just go that route. Therefore, there's a lot of good computers (or computers with a single bad part) that just get thrown out.

I have an idea for tossed computers, to rebuild them and send them to ministries. It would be cool and free of charge, and something I can actually do which is a semi-unique skill.

The problem is, there's a ton of hurdles. However, the story of Esther (full circle people) is chock-full of her and Mordecai overcoming major hurdles. At one point Mordecai rebukes Esther because she's being resistant, and his comment is that God has elevated her and shown her favor with Xerxes... possibly for the very purpose of saving the Jews (Haman had gotten Xerxes to declare a specific day where everyone could freely slaughter the Jews).

Well, God's given me gifts, and in-spite of the hurdles (which really aren't as big as possibly losing my life) He's shown me favor and I'm possibly in the perfect position to fulfill this task.

One thing Esther request of Mordecai. Before she steps up to the task, she tells him to have the Jews fast for 3 days & nights, and she's going to do the same.

So I was going to ask you guys to fast with me for 24 hour period on next Thurs (Oct. 29th). The purpose would be to pray for God's direction for me, and then for favor in that plan. That He will ordain me for a special ministry, and he'll prepare a special plan for my skills.

I still plan to request this of you (so be prepared), but my hope is to have something a little more specific to pray for before you do this.

MotM - 33miles

33miles... awesomeness. They're Christian artists, that are "country". I'm not a major country guy, but these guys are good... very similar in sound to Rascal Flatts.

Additionally, they have some other sounds too. For example, The song Apologize is very reminiscent of the musicality of Oasis. (Yeah a big jump from country, right?) In spite of the clear divergence from their typical sound, their music is super good, and very enjoyable.

I've include a TON of their music in my playlist... and they have a ton more too. Check em out!

Monopoly City Streets

Ok that was fun... but new topic.

Monopoly City Streets [Website]... my newest time-waster. It has a lot of faults as a game, but there's something strangely exciting about "owning" my neighborhood.

Which brings me to my delima: What makes this game cool is that it uses Google Maps, and you "buy" your own streets. Thus, the "coolness" factor is in owning my neighborhood...

The problem is, your ability to make money is limited to the amount of building you can build on your owned streets, and naturally the longer streets allow for more buildings. Well, my neighborhood doesn't have any of the super long streets for purchase. So what do I do? buy up my neighborhood, or start buying "local" streets that are long, but don't have any particular personal connection to me?

Isn't buying those other streets in direct conflict with what makes the game interestingly "cool"? On the other hand, how do I reconcile not doing well in the game if I stick with the "coolness" factor?

Seriously people, this is an important decision!

Music - Pet peeve

Mariah posted this blog. [MUSIC]

You need to read it first before continuing to understand where I'm coming from. I started to comment on her blog, but in true Long-Winded fashion, it became far more than just a comment... so I decided to blog it here instead.

My Opinion/ Pet Peeve

Don’t get me wrong – I love good music, but I just don’t follow this stuff. I’ll buy you can like the music, but as far as I’m concerned these words don’t mean anything. They sound pretty followed after one-another. They are descriptive and creative... but the lyrics just seem to be trying too hard.

I must simply be a cynic. Maybe I’m too rigid, close-minded, or uncreative. Whatever the case, I simply can’t get past lyrics that seem to me to be thrown together because they “sound” deep, yet contain no meaning.

For me, it’s like “Christian-ese speak”… it sounds sincere, but it’s just really words that aren’t followed by any real heart or meaning.

Or, another perfect example…. There’s that one song that goes:

“If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time would pass me by,
cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles
if I could just see you.”

What does that MEAN???! It is an incoherent jumble of thoughts that “sound” good, but don’t make sense.

Anyway, I only bring this up because Mariah posted those lyrics, and I’m really searching to understand them - but I am falling short.

I believe that art contains no boundries. However, the English language by itself is not art. It's simply a tool to compose art. The words, as a toolset, have meaning, and together can craft pictures, spurn emotion, cause movement, or create rhythm and use cadence (another tool). However, the TOOL must be used properly, and at its very core, words are meant to convey meaning. Purely, and simply. Without meaning, the tool is being used improperly, and ineffectively.

Like I said, I'm trying hard to understand those lyrics. The meaning of the Words don't always need to be clear and concise, but they must still relate meaning, and I've come to the determination that thes words just don't.

Thus my pet peeve:: People who write lyrics that are trying SO HARD to be "outside-the-box" and creative, that they end up actually writing things that have zero comprehension.

Maybe I'm just a snob. Whatever the case, it's just NOT art!

Follow Up:

After posting this blog topic, I decided to see what others thought of Bon Iver's Flume lyrics, so I "Googled". It suprises me that I'm not the only one to which they don't make sense - almost every "write-up" of his album that talks of the opening track, Flume, mentions the opening line with clarity, and then confess to a lack of understanding on the rest of the lyrics - though while I'm not the only one that doesn't get it, I seem to be the only one that carries critisim for it.

It's seems to me that because he's "indy", has a good back-story for the album creation, and a good sound; he's forgiven for his lousy lyrics, and almost "praised" for it!

Grrrr....

When you don't really want what you want

Lately, I've been getting lots of praise from our main Sr. Developer (Rod) in our office. He's not my boss or anything, but his opinion really matters in the office as he is the "right hand" of my real boss, Mike.

Anyway, hes been praising my skills and knowledge progess quite a bit in the last week or two. This has made me quite happy, as his confidence in me will definitely affect Mike's confidence in me.

That's not to say that Mike and Rod don't already have faith in my ability... but there's definitely certain types of work in the office that no one else gets assigned but them. This largely consists of work in our "Base Code". I've done some minor things in the base, but most of it is very "surfacy".

Well, lately I've been working on new functionality for our newest client, JPeterman, but which will be used for all clients. This functionality is Gift Wrap capabilities (i.e. a customer can now choose to pay a bit extra for gift wrap on individual items in the cart, and even write a message per item.) This has taken me much deeper into the Base Code than I've ever previously ventured, and while a bit overwhelming, I've actually have great success!

I'm very good at my job, but my strengths have not been in the .NET C-sharp (C#) code. That's where I'm weakest, but also what I've been most excited to learn since joining this company (it's one of the reasons I chose this company). I'm definitely the strongest in the office at the web-based User Interface (UI) portion, and also the strongest at the database stuff... but most of the "heavy" logic for our application rests in the middle-tier, which is where the Base Code .NET stuff rests. Hence, I'm extremely valuable to the company, but I'm not the answer for most of the larger, new functionality development because of my lack of skills with .NET.

Understanding that about my skills, and therefore my typical role in the office; it's been very challenging, and extremely personally rewarding to do this Gift Wrap thing. It started as intending to be a simple addition to the UI, taking advantage of a Functional Engine we already have called Kits. However, as I've programmed the UI, it became apparent that Kits had some very large insufficiencies. Thus, I began to get into the Base Code to tackle the problem... only to discover the large web of messes in Kits as a result.

So, I successfully navigated Kits, added functionality to them, fixed issues, noted weaknesses which we'll code around for now and tackle another day, and got the Gift Wrap working! Mike was happy, and Rod was impressed. It wasn't their original intent, but with each step they put a little more faith in me, and got positive results.

So, why the topic Title?...

Well, today I commented on one of the weaknesses of Kits (which has become apparent in the Gift Wrap Kit). Currently, we don't have Kit Part dependencies - for example, if you add a Gift Wrap Message kit part, but don't select a type of Gift Wrap (e.g. Wedding paper, or Christmas paper), we have no mechanism to say that the message is dependent on you selecting a wrapping paper.

So I commented on it and offered a suggestion... and Rod went to Mike with it and they came back and asked ME to take a shot at doing it all! This is a very good thing for my career!...

however, this new coding is very rewarding, but also very tiring. It's extremely challenging because while I'm now capable, but my skills aren't very strong.

Do I want this? Absolutely. But the surface part of me is already worn out. I'm extremely excited because I'm being challenged, but part of me likes the creative, fun, relatively easy-going element of simple web-UI coding.

It's like being a photographer, and really wanting to be self-employed, but not "really" wanting to take on running the business, and kinda just liking to take photos.

Anyway, I'm happy and blessed. I'm feeling rewarded. I'm just kinda dreading the actual work. :)

7 days to itch

In 7 days (today being one of those 7) Wendy and I will have been married for 7 years, and the itch will be over.

I'm a totally blessed man... far more blessed than most men, and it's mostly because of Wendy. I dont need much... I have her, and it's all I really need on this earth (I need God, but he's not of this earth, you dig?).

So, in honor of my wife, who I love very very much, I'm going to attempt to ease the last 7 days of her itch, by making her forget she even has an itch.

Today is day 7, and I'm going to let the rest of you in on today's gift. Today will be simple...

a small list of 7's to express to Wendy, how much I love her. (Note: I cheat on the "7" concept, as some of these can easily be multiple items... but give me a break! Wendy is far too special to sum up in 7 items)


7 Things I Love About Wendy

• •    The way she kisses. She has tons of kisses, but my favorite is the lingering, super soft, gentle kiss she gives me, usually to break me from another distraction when she simply wants affection. It is a sudden pause of all life, thought, and needs, aside from this simple kiss. I can't help but literally stop and hum afterward (the way someone who's just eatten something good hums under their breath). It's a breath of freah air, and when it comes, it constitues the single most precious seconds of my day.



• •    She's incredibly talented. Her skills at decorating are amazing, and I'm so proud of her. It's fun to brag about her for this skill, as I know that others are just as amazed as I am about her vision and ability to make our home classy, beautiful and warm. She has amazing cooking skills! I've always enjoyed her food, never once been unhappy with it, and she's never let me go hungry. She's always one of the first people who gets asked to bring food to a party, because others can trust that she'll follow through, and know that what she brings will be perfectly delicious and appropriate for the occasion. She's got amazing photography skills!!! This is also something I love to brag about her, and our house is proof of her talent. I've never been one to take picutres of anything all growing up, and I never realized how much fun in memories that I've missed out on by not capturing the moment... that is, until I met Wendy. Always the first to share this talent with others; she has the perfect eye for beauty, and she's rarely caught empty handed without a camera during a special occasion. I reap the rewards of this talent, as my walls are covered with pictures of the people I love.



• •    She's super compassionate and generous. Wendy's ability to identify with others is astounding, and so many people put their trust in her because they know without a doubt that she has their best interest and needs at heart. She also is incredibly generous... both with her time, and money. This is shown sooooo many ways, but quite often is shown through the act of giving gifts. Wendy spends so much time and effort looking for the perfect gift for others, including even simply the card. This of course, is a double-edged sword, and her generosity (and love for shopping) means that if Wendy loves you (and especially if you have children), you can count on an endless stream of gifts-for-no-reason. :)



• •    Her butt. yes, it is magnificent, and is my favorite part of her body! Don't get me wrong, I love all parts of Wendy's body... but I'm particularly partial to her butt. It's like your children... you love them all for different reasons, but there's always a favorite.



• •    The way her skin smells. It sticks with me for hours... and simply the thought of it can make me smile without meaning to. This played a huge role in my falling for her, as I could smell her skin on my hands simply from touching her hands, after leaving her whenever I visited her at APU. I'd go home (usually very late) and go to sleep still able to smell a faint hint of her skin's scent on my hands. It was, and still is, the best way to go to sleep



• •    She makes me feel special. I don't much care what others think negatively of me, but Wendy always makes me feel very positive of myself, and I never knew how important a role that would play in my adult life. She makes me feel valued, valuable, and special. She brags about me, and quite frankly when she does, I care less about the thoughts of the person she's bragging to, and more simply about the fact that she feels that way about me. She leans on me to get things done, and while I could complain that I'm always "needed" (and thus always have something I must do), deep down inside, I'm happy that she trusts me to look to me for help, and she praises my skills and work. As a result, I always feel like I can accomplish anything. She loves to snuggle, and sit on my lap, and dig her feet under my legs... and while it can at times seem annoying, it's also something that always lets me know that I'm uniquely special in her life.



• •    I'm a better man because of Wendy. She's taught me punctuality - somthing that's not a Wilson family trait - and while I'm not perfect, I'm far more punctual than ever. She encourages my relationship with Christ. She loves me despite my short-comings... and man do I have many. So many couples have allowed the shortcomings of their spouses to consume the make-up of their relationship... but Wendy takes my bad with the good, and loves me anyway. She's always encouraging while I work on my issues, and she's incredibly forgiving when I fail. She praises me for the things I do right, even when the bad is painful. She really is the definition of a wife that loves unconditionally. This in turn, makes me want to only work harder and do better, and as a result, she hasn't allowed me to flounder or slack off in my growth as a man. She's trustworthy with my darkest secrects, and never uses my faults against me. This allows me to look to her for accountability, rather than feel the need to be ashamed and hide my faults from her.

7 Things I Promise (sort of) to Wendy for the next year

• •    I will try to keep my closet clean. (Once I get around to cleaning it, of course!)


• •    I will try to keep my Starbucks habit (addiction) to a minimum.


• •    I will stay physically fit, so that she always think I'm dead-sexy.


• •    I will not leave toothpicks lying around the house or in my pant pockets.


• •    I will try to not leave any lights/fans/ac on when I leave for work


• •    I will not pinch her butt (as much) when she walks up the stairs


• •    I will love her unconditionally and wholly.

Wendy, you're an amazing, special, kind, wonderful wife, and I'm incredibly proud of the woman you are, and the things you accomplish. Thank you for loving me like you do, and I will do my best to honor you as my wife, and love you as much as (and more) than you deserve or could ever dream for - for the year to come, and the rest of my life.

Coffee House

I used to write a lot. Short stories. Love letters. Poems. Songs. It's been awhile since I've indulged in that facet of my persona.

Well, tonight while cleaning our new house, I was going through some stacks of books and papers that were in a box I have yet to unload. Lo and behold, (that's just so fun to utter, isn't it?) I discovered this little gem of a poem/lyrics that I wrote a long time ago... apparently at a coffee house, and apparently during some sort of music set.

It surprises me that I used to write like this. I think it has qualities that are quite good, and that I don't have in my writing any longer. So, I decided to share it with you. It could use some refinement, but then again, it was written on what appears to be a torn piece of table cloth (the paper kind that you can draw on), and it seems to be a first draft... so I'll leave it as-is, knowing it could actually be much better.



Anyway, Here's a little piece of my past:

Coffee House

Sitting by the lights
They're artificial stars
Listening to the tunes
He's playing his guitar

The rhythms tap dance on my brain
The beat vibrates round my soul

The laughter fills the room with noise
The talking makes it's whirlwind song
This jazz-talk is an excellent choice
and we all dive in headlong

To this precious gift God did create
the fabric sensation of musical debate
My only though is "This is great!"

With music, there's no right or wrong

The rhythms tap dance on my brain
The beat vibrates round my soul

This coffee is liquid of bitter taste
but the aroma creates sweet melody
The musician's wrath explodes on the drums
but we trust their peaceful harmony

Then Matt
begins to scat
I like it like that

Musician and poet create ecstasy

The rhythms tap dance on my brain
The beat vibrates round my soul

The shaker shakes
The drummer drums
The guitarist plays
a nylon string hums

The poet speaks with wild grace
as shadows play across his face
His words so powerful draw fragile taste

make toes tap with fingers and thumbs

The rhythms tap dance on my brain
The beat vibrates round my soul

Thickening my senses
while thinning my brain
as rational though
is rinsed by instrumental rain

While musically scaled precision
obscure, but clear with mindful vision
crash splendidly with reckless indecision

And the beauty of the music memory will echo its remains

The rhythms tap dance on my brain
The beat vibrates round my soul

The guitar plays a different tune
than the violin
The drums still bang and boom
The notes awkwardly blend

and musical colors spin in the night
like the pictures hanging on the right
Wear imagination's 3-D glasses, and you'll see this awesome sight

It brightens this musical trend...

... which brings my poem to and end.

It's Finally Final

It's true... Wendy and I officially are homeowners AGAIN! After feeling totally blessed by God, and reassured that it was His plan and blessing for our lives that we move onto the cul de sac De FitzSnellSon (otherwise known as Rosales Cir.), we then encountered Satan attempting to suck all the joy out of our move!

We were supposed to close on July 10th. Now, 42 days late, we've officially close escrow (sing on, Fat lady!) but not without a lot of stress and frustration.

After our breezy home sale of Orange Blossom, and God doing awesome things with our loan rate, we then encountered all kinds of incompetence in the bulbous forms of three women... two at Wells Fargo, and one at Escrow. Between these 3 women, they made our closing process extremely long, difficult, and superbly annoying!

... but that's behind us now. I'm only going to look toward the joy that Wendy and I will get to share with all of you guys at our new home! Here's to many years of great friends, great occasions, huge blessings, major milestones, and personal growth all within the comfort of those walls that make up our new home!

Yes folks... Wendy and I are now... HOME.

*Sigh* Damn it feels good!

Looks like I need to buy a Microphone.

Simply put... this is the ONLY way I'm now accepting any web work job requests from anyone.

At least in my industry --
BEST
VIDEO
EVER!

http://vimeo.com/3718294

Song of the Moment - Brandon Heath - No Not One

This particular song is my worship song for the moment. I love it, and I like to turn it up loud, close my eyes and Praise God, over and over. I sing it in my head all day long, and I want to share it with you.


It's the first song on my playlist to the right. No Not One by Brandon heath

My Buddy Ben

This is a quick little shout out to my buddy, Ben Fitzpatrick!

Thanks so much for being so kind this morning and sharing with your best Dude! The sucker you gave me was mighty tasty!

You're the best!

My Experience with Carl

Sorry for the delay in this post.

Last week I was sitting at lunch by myself (Philly's Best - Mushroom Cheese Steak, no onion... mmmm). I often go to lunch by myself to spend some time with God, and read scripture and this book I'm reading for a devotional (Walking with God).

Anyway, so I'm sitting outside on the patio, earphones in my ear listening to Christian music, reading a section of my book...
You know, to fully appreciate this, I need to go tangent. (Remember... I'm long-winded, people... have you forgotten already?)

It was a horrible day. For no reason whatsoever, I was particularly short-tempered on that day. Everything annoyed me. As a matter of fact, on that very lunch break, while walking to Philly's Best, I was talking to Wendy on the phone and I basically gave her severe attitude and bit her head off for no reason. Yes, it was one of those days.

So yeah, I was "emotional" in general, and I was actually aware of it (I called Wendy back about 5 min after we hung up to apologize because I realized the state I was in). Totally playing into the emotions was this book... the particular chapter I was reading described the death of their family dog. It was simply a book, but I was already in a hyper-emotional state, so then reading something of the sort had me a bit choked up - not exactly crying, but tight chested and such.

So I finish the section of the book, pray a bit, and open my bible. I wasn't too into the scripture for the day, mostly because I wasn't emotionally prepared to hear what God wanted me to hear.

That background is important to the story because my sensitive state plays a big role in my 45 seconds with Carl Schumacher.

Carl is a sweet-looking, tall, skinny and frail but hardened, sun-kissed, slightly "white-trash" appearing older man (maybe 52-ish). I was sitting reading my Bible, when Carl "approached" me - that is to say, he kinda glanced my way from a short distance off as I looked up and I could tell he wanted to say something but didn't want to bother me. I took my earphones out of my ears which was the invitation to speak with me, and so he approached, while doing so, removing his worn ball-cap.

Given the nature of the encounter, Carl did one of the two things I expected of him to do - 1. ask for directions, or 2. ask for money. He chose option #2. Here's the thing... I get people asking me for money all the time, and I'm not particularly phased by it. Normally, I either really have no cash on me, or I only have high-value bills and no desire to break it, so I give them the "Shucks, sorry" approach. On a good day, I'll have a $5 or less, and give em that.

What made Carl different was his demeanor and need. See, Carl has a job... he works for MTA as a bus mechanic or something (I can't exactly remember). The thing is, he's unable to pay for his bills/needs right now and he needed to simply get through another week until he gets his next paycheck. It's not too interesting or surprising of a story, right?

Perhaps my unstable emotions played into it, and Carl just had good timing. I know he had no knowledge of my state of mind, nor could he likely see that I was reading the Bible, given the way I had it in my lap. Carl just needed help. What made him touch me so deeply was his manner... I can't remember the last time I've seen someone so embarrassed, and uncomfortable, and hurting-yet-needy as Carl. He fumbled with his hat in his hands as he stared dejectedly at the ground while asking for help. (He even gave me his name and showed my his California drivers license and MTA work card, in order to prove that he was who he said he was, as if that somehow made it better, since, you know, clearly my suspicion of him using identity fraud in his story would keep me from giving him any assistance, or from perhaps calling the cops on him for being a fraud :-) )

Simply put, I could tell he had no desire to actually be asking for help, but I could also tell that he was really hurting. He was super embarrassed, and nervous, and quiet. Like I said, it's also possible I was just in a really wacked emotional state.

I had $40 bucks on me (2x $20) and I gave it all to him. (Don't be pissed, Wendy. I know we need to save money). He got a little emotional (maybe my emotional disease was contagious?) and thanked me and left. 45 seconds, and $40. That's all it was. But I just gave a guy $40! You'd think I'd be feeling good...

...but I felt like crap. I know we're in a recession, so people in his situation are everywhere. His story is not exactly "abnormal". I'm buying a new house, and I'm worried about different expenses, etc. - and here's a guy who's barely hanging on... a nice guy too from the very brief time I knew him. I shouldn't be so self-absorbed.

The thing is... this thought ran through my head, but wasn't the source of my "crappy-ness". What bothered me was that, almost immediately after giving him the money, and Carl began to walk away, God told me, "What are you doing? Call him back. You're ignoring the bigger picture."

I knew this to be true. I had done a good deed, but God didn't want me to give him money... well, maybe I was supposed to give him money, but I wasn't supposed to simply give Carl money. Carl was hurting, and God wanted me to ask Carl how he was doing - if he was OK.

The money would help get Carl through the week, but it wouldn't provide any lasting comfort or healing. I heard God say this as Carl was only 20 feet from me... and I kept my mouth shut.

Quite a few thoughts ran through my head as I watched Carl walk away. For starters, asking the question would mean I'd need to be prepared to listen to the answer. Additionally, Carl was now a good distance away, and though realistically no one would think twice about it - Carl did not look homeless, and no one was aware of the nature of our encounter - I felt foolish about calling after him to come back.

I had been so touched by Carl, and now I allowed Satan to step right in and overshadow Carl's need with exhaustion, fear, embarrassment, and selfishness. In a split second. Just like that!

I missed out on a hug opportunity for blessing in my life, and Carl missed out too, because I wasn't prepared to be a man of influence in someone else's life. More than that, it cost me $40 bucks, and I have nothing to show for it.

I felt like crap, and now I also felt guilty (yup, Satan just kept piling it on). I watched Carl walk away, and then went back to my Bible. I couldn't even focus on it though, because of this relentless voice in my head... "Seriously God! Do you mind?! Can't you see that I'm trying to have my quiet time here? Sheesh!" Since I couldn't focus, I decided to pray more instead. Once again, here I was praying all these great, important things to God, and He was being so rude and kept interrupting me with this other conversation!

I gave up, and decided to walk back to work. I told God, if I saw Carl again, I'd try to talk to him. Sure enough, about 20 seconds later, I saw Carl sitting at the bus-stop waiting on the bus. I continued walking to work.

I convinced myself that I had done a good deed and I should be proud of that. I didn't write about it over the weekend because I wasn't in the mood. On Monday, during lunch, I read this in my book. It's a long passage so feel free to skim if you want, but it's really applicable and good. I think God was wanting me to wait to write until I had read this:

---

Give them to me - Walking With God, By John Eldridge

"One of the most profound surprises that has come about through walking with God has been with regard to people.
    People make up a very large part of our lives. We're surrounded by people. We deal with others every day, from the driver in front of us, to the waitress in the cafe, to the gal in the next office, to those who share our homes. And they are nearly always, one way or another, in some sort of need. Or crisis. Or self-inflicted drama. And one of the great dangers for the person who has begun to desire to please Christ is that we simply let our conscience be our guide in relating to others. We tend to jump in, as opposed to walking with God. Either we give too much or too little, or we offer what is needed, but at the wrong time.
    It would be a revealing study to look at the way Jesus relates to people in the Gospel stories. Sometimes he stops midstride to offer a word or a kindness to what seems to me to be a pretty minor character, someone I think I would have ignored. Other times he ducks for cover, dodges an encounter completely (see Luke 5:12-16). He possesses a freedom toward others I find myself longing for.
    What would happen if we began to ask Jesus what he is saying when it comes to the people in your life?
    Jason needs a place to stay. Some of us would simply offer that, without first asking Christ. Some of us would not even consider offering it. But did you ask Christ? Nancy is in need of prayer. My inclinations is to jump in. But I stop and ask God, What would you have me pray? Sometimes he will then direct my prayers, and I know I am praying far more effectively because I am praying his will, rather than simply praying my thoughts or desires for the person. Or even their requests. Other times he will say, It's covered. No need to pray here. And so I am able to let it go. Ben is asking for some time with me. I stop and ask God, Should I offer here? Sometimes he will say yes, sometimes no, and sometimes Not now.
    But more often than any other guidance, what I hear God saying to me when I ask about a person is, Give them to me.
    This response has been consistently counterintuitive, and utterly refreshing.
    I know I'm not alone in this bent I have to carry people. I'll worry about them in the night. Do my folks have enough money? I'll get paranoid about what someone thinks of me. Maybe I shouldn't have said that to Gary, maybe he's mad at me. I'll find myself having conversations with them even though they are not there. You know, your daughter wouldn't be so lost if you'd just spend more time with her. I'll feel as though I am not offering enough. You ought to call Jim. At times I think I see what is needed and assume I'm supposed to offer it. I think I'd better get together with Kyle.
    How do we navigate all our relationships? What is it that currently guides you when it comes to relating to the people in your life?
    Our tendency is to go with whatever it is we're feeling. It is not a reliable guide. We run with the speculation, or the worry, guilt, or sense of obligation. Or we give way to the irritation, the malaise, or the desire to write them off. We find ourselves over-committed or entangled in their drama. Then we resent people as a category because we're spent. And the reason?
    We never asked God about it.
    Again today my battle was to worry about Sally. Did we do enough? Are we going to lose all the we gained? But I caught myself obsessing, stopped and asked, What about Sally, Lord? And he said, Give her to me. Right. Okay. I'm worrying. Let her go. Accepting this is an act of humility - I am not as indispensable as I thought. She needs God more than me. It is an act of faith - that God will come through for her. He'll take care of it. It is an act of release. And I find that when I give people to God, it opens up an amazing amount of space in my life. For Him."

45 seconds with Carl Schumaker

I can't write now... I have a bit of work to do. However, I need to simply say, I had 45 innocuous seconds with Carl Schumaker today at lunch, and I haven't been this affected by someone in a very long time.

I'll write more later, but I didn't want to let this slide, so I figure putting this small post here would allow you to not let me off the hook.

More to come tonight.

Funny

"I prayed that God would give me a Porsche...
but then I found out that's not the way God works.

So I stole one and asked for forgiveness."

Pulled the trigger.

We locked. You heard me correct. And God talked us all the way through it. Rates were high. He said, "Wait." Rates went higher, He said, "Wait." Rates dropped a bit, He said, "Wait." They went lower and we were tempted to lock, He said, "Wait." They went lower again, He said, "Wait."

Today, He said "Lock", and our rate is AWESOME! :)

Horray! We have a loan!

I'll tel you what... Listening to God is a complete act of faith, and can be totally stressful - though it shouldn't be. I'm learning to trust. That said, it's also filled with a LOT of Joy.

I don't have much else to say about it all.

Except maybe, "Thank you, God."

So yeah, Thank You, God!

(Last "little" hurdle. The house we're buying still needs to appraise. Other than that, everything else is great!)

News today... lots of it

First off, thanks for ALL your prayers. I believe in the power of God, not the power of prayer, but I do know that we are encouraged to pray for one another.

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." - Hebrews 3:13

"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." - James 5:16

Therefore, I thank you for doing God's work :).

OK, to the point... God is amazing, and He does amazing things. Anyone who's spoken to Wendy or me recently knows that we are in the midst of HUGE blessings from God. There's absolutely no reason we should be anywhere near getting this home, except that God loves us, and has plans for us, so He got involved.

The bad news...
Our house did not appraise properly. It actually was way below (30K) what we are selling it for.

The Good news - God stepped in...
The couple from Georgia considered everything, and decided to buy our house anyway! The appraisal is a total non-issue now!


Bad News....
Mortgage Rates sky-rocketed as soon as we signed a deal with Sheila.

Good News - God stepped in again...
God told me to wait. I did, counter to all "logic", and counter to the suggestion of 50% of the "experts" who said rates would continue upward. (The other 50% were divided between going back down and staying even). God said, "trust me and wait." I did. Rates went up again. "Trust me, and wait." I did again. Rates went up again.

Today? Rates are now going back down (have been since last Thurs.), and hopefully tomorrow will be lower than they were when we started :) (Today they are the same as when we started).


The point? God is amazingly good, and is active!

Mortgage Rates

Ever wonder how to "watch" the mortgage rates trends and do forecasts?

I found this site (http://www.mortgagenewsdaily.com/) that explains how they are tied closely with Bonds.

In short: If bonds go UP, rates go down.
The economy in general does this sort of thing... If it is Strong, stocks go up and bonds go down (which means rates go up)... if it is weak (like now), stocks drop and bonds go UP and rates go down.

Don't be tempted though to therefore equate rates to stock trends. They are far more closely tied to bonds than stocks.

Anyway, I've been learning - though there's still much that's over my head - but the site I just gave you also gives you up to the minute info on the bond/rate activity. It's pretty cool watching the graphs and having a general understand of how all the pieces go together.

Anyway, things are looking positive for rates, and Wendy and I are praying a LOT. Keep us in your prayers.

Thanks.

(Stay tuned, we'll have great info soon!)

Excerpt from the plethora of info on the site I gave:

"For new readers and as a reminder for long standing rate watchers, the foundation for how mortgage rates are generated is built upon trading in the secondary mortgage market, specifically mortgage backed securities(MBS). If investor demand for MBS is high, prices are generally moving higher which helps mortgage rates tick lower. If investor demand is weak for MBS, that drives prices lower, which increases mortgage rates. Investor demand is determined by their perception of the overall economy and the gyrations for the yield curve. If investors believe the economy is strong and growing, they tend to move their funds into higher yielding stocks as a growing economy tends to lead to higher corporate profits and higher returns for their investment dollar. When our economy is struggling, investors tend to move their money into safer lower yielding investments such as MBS and treasuries to avoid losing money by holding stocks. During a struggling economy, corporate profits tend to decrease or disapppear thus the flight into safer assets. Investors make their investment decisions based on many factors including economic reports which are released almost on a daily basis."

Tomorrow... er, Yesterday's Yesterday

Sorry for no update, but I don't really have one to give. On the positive-optomistic side, I at least have no negative news to give.

Stay tuned :)



P.S. God's still always amazing and good... He just operates on His timing, not mine :-P

Tomorrow

I believe tomorrow I will have some AMAZING news... stay tuned.

Doubt and APR

I really feel like we've been doing what we should with this house deal. I know God's been in it all, and I have been listening to what He has to say.

That said, I'm now at an impasse.

We haven't locked a mortgage rate yet. A day or two before we had our offer on the new home accepted, rates jumped up 0.25%. We decided not to lock, thinking rates would go back down... and rates are now going up, alot. They are already another 0.25% higher, and it appears they will continue upward.

We can't really afford for them to be any higher. heck, we can't really afford for them to be as high as they are now... so what to do?

I'm having conflicting ideas on what God wants me to do. I've trusted him thus far, so I know that whatever happens - if we get a good rate, if we don't and have to back out, or even if we don't and also end up losing our current home - whatever happens, God is behind it.

But like I said, I am having conflicting ideas on what God wants me to do. I'm not really hearing Him well, and I'm concerned about making the wrong decision. I'm having "doubts".


Psalm 32 says:

"The Lord says, 'I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.' - Psalm 32:8"


That's very comforting. But then it is followed up by:

"'Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.' - Psalm 32:9"

So then, God will guide me and watch over me, but I also need to not be senseless so that He has to physically force me down the path for my life. In other words, I need to play a role in the whole "acting" process by paying attention to His guidance, rather than making God always open and close doors to push me in the right direction.

So, this is where I'm frustrated. Do I lock a rate? "Common Wisdom" might suggest that I should... but is that what God wants me to do?

Do I wait and trust that God will "take care of it all for me"? This doesn't "seem" wise, and I know God wants me to be wise.

What it comes down to is that I'm not hearing Him.

I wanna go!

Hey Church, here's the RULES

[Mariah, this post is largely for you]

On Tuesday during lunch, I read 1 Timothy. The whole book.

A few weeks ago I read The Year of Living Biblically (One man's attempt to follow the bible as literally as possible), by A. J. Jacobs. It's an awesome book, by the way. You absolutely should read it! I don't care if you're religious or not; this book will have both sides of the Aethiest/Believers arguments saying, "See? I told you so!"

Anyway, so I read this book by A.J. Jacobs. It was great, but he asks some hard questions to which I don't have any real answers. Mainly, "Where in the Bible does it say that Jesus abolished all the 'old' laws?" The answer? Well, like I said - if you were paying attention... "Pay Attention!" - I don't really have any clear ones.

Certainly, Jesus became THE sacrifice, so I suppose the laws regarding offerings/sacrifices are no longer exactly applicable. But what about the rest? Hmm? HHMMM??

Right. It seems we chose to just "lump them in there" because they're either kinda weird, or totally inconvenient... or kinda weird AND totally inconvenient.

So back to my first statement. I read 1 Timothy. The whole book. Don't know what it says? Well, don't be a lazy ass... pick it up and read it!

In short though, it's all about rules - specifically rules for the church. And (as you may have guessed) Paul writes them in a letter to Timothy. This should be wildly clear since - if you know your books of the Bible - Timothy is post-Jesus, but they definitely apply. In other words... no excuses people. We're totally screwed here, as there's no "easy out" for these babies. These laws aren't "lump-able"!

Actually, when reading them, they make a lot of sense. Furthermore - still with me Mariah? - they tell the church how to function, both inside the church, as well as with the outsiders.

(Ok, a bit of explaining the Mariah thing here. On Memorial Day, we were having a discussion about how many churches no longer seem to teach how we're to respond to other religions, or even what our "jobs" are as believers. Sure, they take offering, and perhaps have a "Global Missions" week/month... but the Bible has some pretty explicit declarations about our duties as the Church. Once again, don't be lazy... read the book.)

So 1 Timothy gives some very important (while rather logical) instructions. I think it's about time we do at least attempt to live according to the rules God put in place for us. I'm one who wholly defends the "spirit of the law" concept. (I have some serious issues with our judicial system and how the spirit simply gets ignored) However, in this case, I think the letter of the law applies too.

Decay from the Inside and God's Mighty Hand

For a time will come when all the earth will be filled, as the waters fill the sea, with an awareness of the glory of the Lord. Habakkuk 2:14

I had planned on writing this earlier, but haven't had a chance until today. I mentioned it at the beginning of my last post. This is topic #2.

I was listening to Rush Limbaugh on the radio. His conversation was regarding Abortion, and specifically Obama's speech at Notre Dame. Since it's been a day or two, I don't remember all that Rush was saying, but he did point out the fact that even churches and religious organizations are beginning to alter their point-of-view on Abortion in order to maintain a "welcoming" non-confrontational element to their church so that people will come. He mentioned a poll that stated that XX number of people who go to church are now pro-choice, and feel that it is right to be so. (I don't remember what the XX number was, but I do remember that it was ridiculously higher than I had expected).

Anyway... that's all not really the point. It just got me thinking. Thinking about churches. About how churches, in order to appeal to new believers are often focusing on the "Life Application" teaching of the Bible. How teachings are now just filled with "good thoughts" - almost like the teachings of Confucius - rather than real scripture. How those good thoughts are beginning to dangerously miss the point, and veer off the path of righteousness.

God does teach about love. Jesus, did say it was the greatest commandment. But since when did one commandment make the rest null and void? God is Love, but God is also a Jealous God. In other words, there's far, far more to God than many churches today are talking about, focusing on, or - shamefully - even believing in. There are rules, people... rules He expects us to adhere to.

The church is constantly hammered on by society. We get attacked everyday. However, I began to think that the loss of focus on real scripture - on teaching straight from the words of God - is what is ultimately the biggest danger. For those of us who have been at least partially paying attention; We're so focused on outward attacks that we're missing the fact that the battle is now inside our defenses. Our castle walls have been breached by diggers, and the very foundation of those walls is in danger of being sapped.

It made me feel that finding a new church... a church that focuses on God's teaching, and doesn't ignore that God has far more characteristics than the "mushy, soft, feel-good" one's... finding a new church is more important than ever. I love the soft side of God. I lean on it everyday. If God didn't love me like I believe He does, He certainly would have given up on me long ago.

That doesn't mean that God is single-faceted. It simply means that I play favorites with the parts of God I love the most. :) But I want to really, really know God. I want to know about the King, Lord and Ruler - the part of God that guides, commands and controls everything. I want to know about the Father - the part of God that loves me unconditionally, gently reprimands to keep me on track, teaches with His example, and is proud of me as His own when I succeed. I want to know about the Creator, and all-knowing all-powerful Alpha and Omega - the side of God that can do the impossible, that understands things to a depth I can't imagine, that is far more creative than all the minds of this earth put together, and that stands outside of (and actually forms) all bounds of understanding and thought. I want to know about the Savior - the side of God that sacrificed more than I ever will, for reasons I only partially understand. I want to know about the Friend - the side of God that longs to commune with me, also for reasons I only partially understand. And Especially, I want to know about the Holy Spirit - the part of God that is sitting here with me, as I type this very sentence.

So, I've been bothered by this fact that churches are very lost. Today, I prayed for scripture to read during lunch. God said, "Habakkuk". "Cool", I thought, "obscure, and different. I know the book exists, but do I even know what it says? Not likely."

So cool! So very, very cool. You must read it. And when you do, if I missed any important "lessons", please let me know. Here, in short, are the three things that God said to me:

1) "I'm in control. Not only am I in control, I'm active. I'm doing things that even you wouldn't believe if you were told about them. Simply watch, and be Amazed!"

2) "My timing is perfect, and My works are flawless! These thing I plan may not happen right away, but slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when My vision will be fulfilled."

3) "When evil thrives, it is I who allow it, for nothing is outside My control. But do not despair, for I allow it so that I can show my power and be glorified. When I allow the wicked to raise up, I allow it so I can tear them down and diminish them. Then my power will be known and My glory revealed!"

Mark 14... strange inclusion

I have 2 topics which I want to write about, but I'll split them into two separate posts, so I'll simply being with the first one here:

Read: Mark 14. This is what I did during lunch today. I went to lunch alone, bought my Turkey Tuscany panini from Brueger's Bagels, sat outside (it was such an amazing afternoon), and prayed and read the Bible. I started with my prayer, and ended asking God what He wanted me to read.--

-- I'm still learning how to properly communicate with God. Don't get me wrong; I understand that God doesn't really care how I speak with Him... and yet at the same time, I think there's something to be gained and learned from understanding how to properly communicate with Him. There's a certain reverence that should be involved; an understanding of the many, many forms in which God expresses His relationship with me (King, Savior, Lord, All-powerful Creator, Provider, Father, Friend); a required understanding of God's makeup - the Trinity factor and how each element should be addresses and plays a role in communion with God; all these things that I'm still learning about, still trying to understand. Does it keep me from reaching out to Him, from talking with Him? Absolutely not. However, just because He allows me to seek Him - in spite of my lack of understanding about the complex Lord that He is - it doesn't allow me to be off the hook for learning. Ignorance is not an excuse, but through His mercy, He's allowed to "rules" to be ignored. But I digress --

So I asked God what he wanted me to read, and I felt like I was being told, Mark 14. Have you ever read Mark 14? As it turns out, I have. Or rather, more appropriately, I've had the "content", the story of Mark 14 (and likely even had the specific scripture itself) read to me.

It's a nice enough story: Pharisee's want to kill Jesus, but it's the Passover so they decide to wait. Judas agrees to betray Jesus. They eat the Passover meal; Jesus breaks bread and drinks wine; Jesus declares he will be betrayed. They go to the Mt. Olives where Jesus takes James, John and Peter further up ahead and then Jesus prays by himself. Judas comes and betrays Jesus. Jesus is tried before the Sanhedrin. Peter denies Jesus 3 times.

"So...?"
"So, What?"
"Exactly."
"Huh?..."

Don't get me wrong. This is powerful stuff. I just don't know what I was supposed to gain from it. So I decided to pick apart the things that stuck out to me. I don't really have explanations or solid ideas about what I'm supposed to get from it all, but I decided to share with you my "current" lasting-thoughts.

1) Pharisee's, while wanting Jesus dead, are worried about doing it over the passover because of fears of rioting, so they decide not to do anything yet. Then Judas comes to them and offers to "betray" Jesus. Suddenly - apparently - it's OK to take Jesus during the passover? Furthermore, the pay Judas to do what exactly? Show the guards who to arrest? Wasn't Jesus well known enough that he was recognizable by the religious leaders already? So how exactly did Judas betray Jesus? Why did the Pharisee's pay Judas to do what they could already do without him if it was simply saying "There he is! Arrest Him!"?

2) When Jesus says to the disciples, "You'll all abandon me", Peter says, "I'll never abandon you. I'll die first!" They then go to the mountain to pray, and James, John, and Peter fall asleep while keeping watch for Jesus... To which Jesus responds, "Try to stay alert and pray, otherwise temptation will overpower you. For your spirit is willing enough, but your body is weak." This hit home. How many times have I been disgusted with myself for continually falling prey to my own wicked desires... even after I've prayed over and over and over again, "Lord I give this to you. Forgive me and give me strength." And it's true. It's not that in my soul I'm a wicked person, but rather that my body is weak... thus giving up my wickedness is not necessarily a "Change of the Heart" - a phrase we so often hear in christian-ese lingo - but rather a "Preparation of the Heart."

Jesus doesn't say, "Peter, this proves you lack of loyalty to me. How evil of you! You have a lot of work to do to change!". Instead, Jesus acknowledges the weakness of the body, and gives the answer... "Keep alert and pray". The shame is not in the fact that the body is weak... it is what it is, and will always be... the shame is not not being prepared, since we have the knowledge that the body is in fact weak. Too often I come down on myself for not "being strong enough"; but that is misplaced energy. Rather, I simply need to accept the fact that I'll never be strong enough. Instead I need to take that knowledge of my weakness and compensate for it with prayer and the Armor of God.

3) Perhaps the most confusing thing that stuck out to me: Versus 50-51
"Meanwhile, all his disciples deserted him and ran away. There was a young man following along behind, clothed only in a linen nightshirt. When the mob tried to grab him, they tore off his clothes, but he escaped and ran away naked."

Umm... yeah. I looked at this account in Matthew, Luke and John. None of these mentioned this account of the "young man". So I wonder... A) Who is he?, and B) Why was this deemed important enough to mention?


Young naked men aside, I still don't know why I was to read this passage.

A Chance for a Ministry - Using my gifts

So I wanna run something by you guys, and I want your input/ideas/comments. Yes this particular blog requires participation. I don't mind the normal "blog-stalking", but I request that you break the silence at least this one time. I also ask that you share this with people you think might also be helpful, so I can get their responses as well.

Y'all know I'm a programmer. As such, my "unique" skills don't often have a place when it comes to ministry as it relates to the poor, needy, and 3rd world countries. This has always bothered me because I'm called to use my gifts to "further Christ's kingdom", and I'm also called to help the poor, sick, widows, and children. I've wanted for a long time to be able to combine my skills with this need, and I think I've found a way.

This will be a long post because it contains an idea for a ministry. Those of you who may be reading that don't consider yourself "religious"; don't tune out yet. This is a ministry idea, true - but in reality it is just a good thing to do, and I think you'll still identify/appreciate the idea.

Ok, so here goes:

Wendy, Julie, Kirk, Wendy's bosses Anita and Jerry, and I just recently went to a Children's Hunger Fund (CHF) fund-raiser/sponsorship-awards banquet about 2 weeks ago. As I'm sure you gather by the name, this Charity feeds children/poor/needy people all over the world. They do more than that though. They also provide medical care, and clothing - I'm not sure if they also provide education, but it wouldn't surprise me.

While at this event, they awarded/acknowledged people and organizations that have provided significant contribution to their mission (even if the contribution was not directly through CHF but instead through a parallel charity). Two companies that they honored that do contribute directly to CHF were Dole Foods, and Nestle. They also honored the Chapman's (as in Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife) for their own personal ministry called Show Hope, and Focus on the Family for their contributions to society.


I make E-Commerce web sites for my "day job". In other words, I make online shopping cart systems. (Think shopping at bestbuy.com, or better yet, checkout one of the sites I've actually done: Swell.com or ActiveRideShop.com) This is what I'm employed to do... and I really enjoy it. However, I also have a bunch of personal projects that I'm trying to complete, all relating to programming. Given that my commute takes up approx. 2 hours of my day, and I work for 8, that leaves me very little time for my numerous other projects.

This presents me with a very big problem as it pertains to ministry. Where do I get time to add a ministry to the list? I thought hard about this... and I was extremely reluctant to give up on any of my dreams relating to my personal endeavors. Then I thought, "What if I could turn my day job into one that meets the needs of charities like CHF, without quiting my job?" This would mean that I would have to find a need for 3rd world countries and the poor to make use of an ecommerce website... which doesn't make a lot of sense, since they aren't likely to have computers with internet access in these 3rd world countries...

... and then it struck me. I'm looking at my role in these ministies backwards. Maybe I should be looking to facilitiate the supporting of the charities by others, rather than directly supporting the charities themselves.

AnitaG, Inc. (Wendy's company) provides clothing and financial assistance to CHF. Major corporations like Nestle, and Dole also provide financial (and perhaps food?) assistance. Besides believing in the Charity's mission; Why do major corporations give?

Well, besides "feeling good about themselves", there are tangible benefits. There's a major tax write-off for charitable contributions (though there is a limit). Additionally, there's the public exposure and image - they can appear to be "good" companies, which can potentially drive people to pick them over their competitors.

In the case of the Tax write-off, there's a limit to how much the giving actually helps. Plus, they still have a company to run and be profitable, so there's only so much "direct giving" they can do before it just doesn't make financial sense. It perhaps isn't even that they wouldn't give more... they just hit a wall of how much before it doesn't make sense.

As for the public image... well, this only works if the public is aware of your giving. In the case of CHF, many of you might not even know about them, and I'm sure most if not all of you certainly didn't know that these companies were contributing. In other words, the opportunity was lost.

So I came up with an idea, to assist companies in capitalizing on both the tangible opportunities presented by giving. The idea is this:

Create a website "in the name of" CHF (or any other worthy charity). Like any other ECommerce site, there is a shopping cart, and a list of products. These products are provided to the site a very low cost by companies like Dole, Nestle and AnitaG. Perhaps they are provided "at cost", or maybe with a very small mark-up. The products have the companies brands extremely visible. Consumers can purchase from this site, and see the companies who's product they are purchasing. This breeds consumer awareness about the companies "good deeds", and potentially even makes a very small profit (or at least covers all production costs) for the company. Reporting tools are available (our system already has them) for tax/write-off purposes. Plus, the companies aren't out any costs, and thus it doesn't "hurt" them to extend the amount of giving they do.

Here's the thing... the product that is purchased is not purchased for the consumer, but rather on behalf of the consumer for the charity!

Example: AnitaG provides a girls dress for a cost of $5. It costs them $4 to make and ship. So if you, the consumer, purchased this dress, AnitaG makes $1 profit. Furthermore, you now have purchased a dress for the charity, and the charity will actually receive the dress to give away to the poor, etc. You know it was an AnitaG product you purchased, so it creates good-will with you toward AnitaG. Also, AnitaG has a charitable write-off (they normally sell the dress to retailers for $8), which is complied in a report for them by the Ecommerce system. In the same way, the consumer (you) gets reports for your tax purposes too (that's right, you get a write-off as well!). The Charity gets material to give away. Everyone wins!

What about the ECommerce system? It costs something right? Right... But at a reduced cost to the charity (thus a write-off for my company). Plus, these major corporations that are submitting their product??? EXPOSURE!!! That's right. Hopefully, they will see our system in action and like it (they still have consumer-driven businesses to run), and decide to use our system. In other words, the charities site becomes an instant relationship to these corporations, and hopefully will pay off in sales.

Even cooler: Our system has a Wishlist functionality. Ever been to church during christmas, and they have a "gift-drive" where you grab a gift request by some poor child, and buy that gift? Well now imagine the ability to go online and pick through wishlists (created on behalf of these kids by the charities on their site) and fulfill them... all online. Churches recommend/support these sites to assist the ministries they believe in and love.


I talked to my boss about this idea. I was worried he'd say, "that's a nice idea, but not really on the plate for any time soon", or "that doesn't really fit with our future", or something of the sort. Instead, he loved the idea. He thinks it's great! So there you have it. It's more important to me than ever, because I actually have an opportunity to turn my secular job into a ministry providing for other ministries!

So, where do you come in? My boss likes the idea so much, he told me to write it up professionally. We talked about it again today, and he wants me to do something this weekend if I have time (In other words... "it's a good idea, so lets not waste time. Get it done!") I want to make sure I don't miss any aspects of this, because the better I make it, the more likely it is to happen. So I need your clarity of thought. What have I missed, both in opportunities, as well with hurdles to its execution?

Heck, if anyone of you has the "ins" with a ministry that could benefit from this which is big enough to drive the "promise" of this idea (so that the "business" minded people see the promise and want it to happen), that's also very helpful.