Convicted

Yesterday God reminded me that I need Him. Sometimes, He does this through wise words spoken from someone you trust. Sometimes, often He'll do this in the midst of a dramatic event in our lives.

Yesterday was like neither of these. Yesterday, He simply spoke to me. "You need me". That's what He said. And it rang true. As if He yelled it in a hollow canyon and it reverberated throughout the air all around me - yet silent like a whisper as if His lips were brushing my ear. "You need me."

I do.

It's true. I need Him, and yet, so often of late - no that's not accurate - for awhile now, I've been avoiding Him. Not so blatantly as to tell Him to go away. It was more like when you receive a Voicemail on your phone asking you to call someone back, and then you just never get to it.

I want to be a hero. I want to be honorable. I want to be shrewd, intelligent, knowledgeable, honest, wise, endearing, brave - Kingly. I want my legacy, my name, to carry weight. To have value. How many kings of Israel were compared to King David in the Bible? I want my name to be like that - "but he did not Honor God like David did."

I want to be an example.

Yesterday God spoke to me, and I heard Him. When He knew I heard Him, He then, like a gentle, wise counselor, convicted me.

You see, I had a idea which I shared with you yesterday. It's a nice idea. A Great Idea. And then God slid a book across the table. No words were spoken. Just the passing of a book, with a soft, compassionate, yet saddened smile. The title of the book was "David Wilson's Great Ideas". When I opened the book, the pages contained my best ideas... all these ideas that would certainly make a difference, earn me a reputation such as the one I described above, and would glorify God at the same time. Real work, doing great things for The Kingdom. Along those pages also were included all the encouraging comments and praises I've received for those ideas. And, at the end of each idea was a section with a single square box, and the word "Completed" in gray.

As I flipped through the pages, I noticed one glaring thing: None of the square boxes were checked.

I knew. When he gave me the book, I didn't even need to look in it. I knew at once what He was telling me, but I looked anyway.

God told me two things yesterday, in 2 totally different ways. I was convicted.

But He wasn't done.

I've told anyone who's ever been interested (on perhaps not interested) that my ultimate goal is to be a philanthropist. I've always wanted to make a ton of money so I could give it away. You know, REALLY make a difference.

The funny thing is, I've also told many people that I think it's too easy to simply give money. It's such a "rich-man's", "Newport Beach" style of good will. It's detached. It's a quick high, but short. Like going to church on Sunday's, just to tell yourself you've gone, but not taking anything with you from the experience into your week. Unless you've ever gotten your hands dirty, you can never really connect with the cause you're supporting, because you haven't connected with the people being helped. Once you go - once you've seen it with your own eyes, and been a part of God's movement; only then do you really understand. Only then do you actually receive the full gift of which God intends to bless you.

I've never noticed how contradictory my goals and my opinions were, until yesterday. He began to speak, and I sat and listened. It was like putting contacts in your eyes to reveal the things your conscious mind can't see clearly, but your subconscious knows the truth of. Perhaps, my philanthropy is not made of the money I will give, but rather the time I'll invest. It's just as valuable (perhaps more so), and the return is far greater.

He then handed me a magazine; this one a copy of Costco's business magazine, and turned it to a spread about TOMS shoes, an article which I've read before (read it here). He pointed out the differences between Blake Mycoski (TOMS founder) and myself. I'm like the kid that gets back from church camp all fired up, but then gets lost in daily life and loses the fire I started with. Or like the person that makes the New Years Resolution to exercise, and start off with fervor. But then after the first 2 weeks, when the real pain starts to set in, they stop going to gym.

He reminded me that the truly successful entrepreneurs/leaders are the ones who don't fail once the initial wave of excitement and passion wane. They're the ones who, when they find inspiration, focus on the goal and simply push toward it. They don't let the monotony of daily life, or the hurdles along the way distract them. Like a football team that simply focuses on 3 yards every play instead of relying on a single hail-mary to score a touchdown.

I was convicted.

"You need Me." I do need Him. And for this, I really need Him. Because, this isn't about my legacy. This isn't about my name. This isn't about my Glory. It's about His.

The qualities I mentioned before sound good, but I've got it all wrong. A King, a great King, isn't self-serving. There's a quality I didn't mention before, that is necessary for the others to be genuine. Humility. It's directly juxtaposed to the idea of reaching for the other qualities.

I need God. I need Him for ME. And I need for my "great" ideas. You can't have ideas that glorify God, if you don't include Him in them. I can't stay focused on my "plans", without Him, because the "purpose" is absent.

I'm sorry God. I'm sorry for ignoring you lately. I'm also sorry for trying to steal your thunder... because my "great ideas" aren't MINE at all.

=============================================

As I write this post, it isn't at all ending the way I intended when I started. It WAS originally entitled "ConvictION", not "ConvictED". I had intended to end with a new conviction to follow through, and accomplish these "great ideas". While, that idea remains, I realized as I wrote that there was something deeper going on, and God was still talking. I wrote what I was being told, and the "final" (I say that loosely) message is different that what I had thought. I'm not sure that He's done either. I'll keep you posted (pun TOTALLY intended ;-P ).

Shoe Bank

Any of you who read my blog consistently (when I actually write), know I mostly only write about 3 things - Music, God's work in my life, and charity work.

This Post is no different.

Sunday, I went out with Jerry Goodall (Wendy's boss) and Kirk, and we went and saw a movie (The Eagle), and then sat drinking coffee at Starbucks. Later, we went back to the Goodall's house to meet up with Wendy, Julie and Anita.

I can't remember know how the topic came up, but very briefly we spoke on the following topic, and I had what I consider a 'brilliant' idea. It was a short conversation, but it's caused me to envision huge things.


When Wendy and I were in Armenia with Armenian Gospel Mission (AGM), one of the things we did was give shoes to the kids at the Schools run by AGM (called ARDA in Armenia). It certainly was one of the most memorable experiences there. Most of these kids have never owned a new pair of shoes. Quite honestly, many of them wear shoes way too small, way too big, or wear slippers because they don't own any shoes that fit (and slippers don't hurt so much if your feet are 3 sizes too large for them). It's stunning really. Such a small thing we take for granted. Shoes.





When we gave these kids their shoes (new shoes, nice, and fit them to their feet), the excitement, chaos, and emotions were the sweetest dessert I've ever tasted.








Many of the kids just wanted to carry the shoes in their box like a treasure. We had mothers come in after picking up their child(ren) with tears in their eyes, so grateful for the gift.









There were about 7 kids we encountered whose feet were too large for any of the shoes we had with us. One of the 7 was so worried he wouldn't get a pair, he crammed his feet into one pair insisting that they fit just fine, while the tops of his feet bulged out of the shoes. Even when we told him not to worry, that we'd get him a pair just for his size, he still wouldn't give them up.

The crazy thing about Armenia, is that for the most part, everything there is very inexpensive. Food especially. That's a good thing, though relative to living, since many of these families make about $50-$80 a month. However, when we went to buy shoes for the 7 kids that didn't get any (well, 6 plus the one kid who took the small shoes), we found that, on average, kids shoes cost $40, and that's even for the low quality tennis shoes! That's basically a full months salary! (Don't worry. We still got the 7 pairs :-) )

The problem with kids shoes is that they hardly wear them. Sure, I have shoes that are so worn, that the soles are sloped, have a hole through the sole at the heel, and threads are coming apart. But kids grow out of their shoes so quickly that they often are in perfect shape, but are now sized incorrectly.

It was cool to give the shoes away. It would be even cooler to keep giving them away. But what would be the coolest?

What if we took the idea further, and setup a "Shoe Bank" in Armenia run by ARDA (or in other poverty stricken areas run by charities). Families could buy a pair of shoes, or be gifted a pair to begin with. Then, as their child grew, they could bring the shoes to the Shoe Bank. The shoes would be inspected on the spot, and a replacement pair of the correct size would be given back to the family relative to the quality of the shoes brought in.

Eventually, the family will get less and less quality shoes as they wear out the pairs they have, and then get similarly worn shoes in return. At some point, they'd have to "reinvest" in a pair of shoes. In the meantime, they won't have to struggle with the fact that their child is growing too rapidly.

There would never be a requirement to bring back the shoes they were given. After all, the original investment (or gift) was theirs to begin with. This simply allows a single investment to "grow" with the child.

Anyway, that's what's on my mind today.