Follow-up to the Lesson from Esther

A huge 'Thank you' to those of you who responded that are willing to fast on my behalf.

Here's the update:

Yes, I'm still planning to fast tomorrow.

As for prayer, here's the deal... In the past week, I did pray that God would give me some direction for where I should be focusing my energy for His Kingdom. Unfortunately, I didn't pray as much as I had intended to.

Anyway, I'm still unsure where God wants to use me. There's two ideas, and lots of confusion.

First, I have had renewed excitement about the business plan to support charities through my companies E-Commerce program, though as much as that's a kind of "ministry"; it is also "for profit". Somehow I feel like this "breaks the rules" for working for Gods glory. It feels like it isn't "selfless", and additionally, because it will also be my actual 8-5 weekday job, it doesn't feel like a "sacrifice" (Of course, I don't know how that would change the dynamic in my office, and the extra workload my actually BE a sacrifice... but I digress). Still, I decided to pour more energy into finishing the business plan, and re-introduced the issue with my boss. I made some updates to the business plan draft I had already made, and plan to give it to him again so we can go over it.

Secondly, I have this idea for rebuilding computers for other ministries. As I've previously stated, there's so many people that just dump their computers because "they are getting slow", or may have died. The truth is, there's still tons of value in those computers, and I'd love to rebuild them for charities (such as the Armenian Gospel Mission). I was talking with my boss and co-worker the other day over lunch about this idea. I was telling them that I've been looking for something "of value" to do... something where I can use my unique skills to "give back" to others, and honor God (neither of them believe in God, but they seemed to connect with wanting to "give back", and do something that "has value"). Anyway, both seemed to really like my idea for the computer rebuilding... but then again, they're both techies, so that isn't very surprising that they'd identify with the idea. Still, we had some very good discussions on the idea.

Anyway, those are my "current ideas", but truthfully, I don't feel like God is pointing to either one. I have doubts. I don't want to move on my own and ignore what God is telling me to do. The "right idea" at the "wrong time" is the wrong thing to do. I really want to hear God on this, and I don't want to allow Satan to send me down a path that "seems good", but is taking me away from the blessing and direction God intends. On the other hand, I also don't want to allow Satan to use my doubts to cause complete inaction. So, I'm feeling like I'm at an impasse and am paralyzed.

Whatever I end up doing, even if it's not one of these things, I want to make sure that I'm prepared going into it all. Prepared to tackle the hurdles, survive and succeed in the battles Satan is sure to bring, and sensitive enough to the Holy Spirit's direction so that I won't miss opportunity milk the most joy and blessing out of serving God.

So, that's where I am at. Whatever you feel lead to pray, do so. I don't want to tell you what to pray, because I'm not sure I'm hearing God clearly anyway... and besides, I may not be asking the right questions.

Thanks so much!